It's Raining, It's Pouring

While it's not raining or pouring droplets of water from dark, gray clouds, gifts are showering down upon Austin and Meagan from friends and relatives all around. After returning from our mini-vacation/celebration in Santa Cruz on Tuesday night, we spent a good part of our time from Wednesday through Friday preparing for Meagan's wedding shower at our home. With each passing day drawing us closer to the big event on Saturday, we could see that the weather was becoming more and more "Spring-like", and it certainly did not disappoint. With temperatures in the high 70's, without a cloud in the sky, about 30 ladies descended upon our doorstep around noonish to celebrate with Meagan the joy of preparing for a future with Austin.

The boys (Austin, Barret, Eric - Meagan's Dad, and I) all managed our tasks in the morning by cleaning up the yard, setting out tables, planting some fresh flowers, etc... and then we stormed out of there right before everyone arrived to head up to Napa and play some disc golf. We had a wonderful time in equally perfect weather and scenery, but poor Barret wasn't feeling well from a flu bug he caught the night before. He thought he could power through it but ended up heading back to the car after the third "hole" (chain-link stanchion) while we played through the rolling, oak-tree spotted hillsides of the golden California terrain. By the time we got back to the house a little after 5:00 p.m., everyone was rather pooped out and we just sat around and reminiscenced about the day. The girls were excited to show the boys the "loot", especially Meagan who couldn't wait to share the exuberance of her day with Austin. They were so cute together as Meagan meticulously handled every gift with loving care and explained to Austin who it was from and how useful it might be in their new home. Later on that night we all sat around a little fire in our back-yard, under perfectly clear stars, and enjoyed a glass of wine with the Kirkpatrick's. It was an absolutely stupendous day.

On Sunday after church, we helped Austin and Meagan pack all of their gifts, together with a thrift store dining room set they found in Santa Cruz, into the bed and cabin of Austin's truck before they headed back to San Luis Obispo. We laughed after we finished loading everything up as it sort of looked like a scene from the Beverly Hill Billies. Somehow they managed to get it all in there and safely arrived down south without losing one item on the long trek back. Victoria and Meagan briefly chatted on the telephone while they were driving south and both agreed that it was a bit depressing to see the glory of the week come to an end. Even Poppy said it was sad to see all of our company leave. We feel honored that our home and family are bonds that are difficult to separate by physical distance.

We're now back to our smaller gathering of five in the Kruggel household, ready for the next wave of revolving door changes the Lord brings into our paths. As tiring as it all is, I don't think we'd want it any other way.

Showered Upon with Grace,

Tom (& Victoria)

Grateful for the Greatness of God's Grace

He did it! Austin finished his graduate studies and is now officially "done" with school. (I know Dad, only bread gets done, "He's 'now officially FINISHED with school.'") All eight of us, well actually nine including Annie's friend, Brian, rendezvoused in a small cottage near Santa Cruz, California. It was a perfect, cozy little spot, set in a redwood forest next to a creek that apparently Steelhead Trout spawn in. It wasn't completely isolated because other small homes were nearby, but we didn't care. It rained pretty hard the first night which made it that much cozier as we sat around the fire and just basked in the fact that Austin no longer had to concern himself with college studies any longer. When we asked Austin how he felt, he was kind of pensive and said it was weird, almost sad in a way. I think I know what he means. Annie and Brian were pretty relieved too because they had just completed their Winter Quarter of school and have a week off before they head back to the grind on Monday. We're so proud of all our kids and couldn't be more grateful for the greatness of God's grace.

There was a moment on Monday night when we were all sitting around the dinner table, literally chewing on the fat of the calf I had just barbecued and chasing it down with some incredible Tempranillo wine we purchased from the Capay Valley a few weeks earlier, that I caught myself in one of those sort of "out of the body" experiences. Not literally, of course, but I was very contemplative as I looked around the chairs and soaked in each incredible face. My wife who was undoubtedly in her element with all of her chicks in the nest (and then some), my son Austin who's so wonderfully persevered through almost six years of university life, my future daughter-in-law Meagan who's already brought so much joy to our family, Annie who's as nutty as ever and also beautifully turned into a woman-of-God, her friend Brian who's humble commitment to Jesus is magnetic, my son Barret who's being visibly fashioned more into the image of Jesus with each passing day, my miracle girl Poppy who so unexpectedly entered our life and has given us new meaning to family, and the ever energetic Willow who none of us can seem to get enough of. These thoughts ran through my head, almost like a movie scene, and then I silently said to the Lord, "I don't deserve this, but I'm o' so very grateful. Your hand has clearly molded and shaped something remarkable here. Thank you." I never said anything to my family about that moment, but I sincerely think it might have been one of the most contented experiences of my life. 

Can it get any better? The amazing thing is, yes, it can. Whether I'll see another day on earth tomorrow doesn't really matter. I'm full and the future is brighter beyond the horizon than I could ever earthly imagine. 

I'm excited,

Tom

Rites of Passage

It's the beginning of the end, so to state. Meaning, Austin's now in his last days, literally hours of completing his undergraduate and graduate level college studies at Cal Poly San Luis Obispo. In fact, by 10:00 p.m. tomorrow he'll finish his last examination in his just-less-than six year span at the university and then it's hats in the air, figuratively (maybe literally too). There's little rest for the weary though because he's still got so much to do to prepare for the wedding (together with Meagan) and gearing up for his first official post-graduate job in Colorado. There's a gazillion details to consider and take care of, not the half of which I'm sure Victoria or I have a clue about. Things like packing up his stuff, budgeting for the future, closing out collegiate details, establishing utilities at his new home, etc...

For me this all hit "home" the other day when I had to remove him from my insurance plan now that he's no longer going to be a "dependent". Navigating through all of the self-guided internet screens with my insurance carrier and checking him off the medical and dental plans sort of caused me to choke up a bit. In some respects it's like a rite of passage. I mean as long as he's been dependent upon our family for his sustenance (uh, that would be his whole life) he's been linked up to us in more ways that I had imagined. Usually whenever I think about "leaving and cleaving" (cf. Genesis 2:24) I envision it from the perspective of the one leaving and cleaving. But the verbs have an attachment to something else; you can't do either without a connection to another, and that other in this case of "leaving" happens to be Victoria and me. So from the perspective of the ones being "left", it leaves a hole, a vacuum of sorts. We're gaining a beautiful daughter-in-law which helps fill the void, and the peace of knowing that this all is perfectly providential fills in the rest. I'm happily afraid there's going to be a lot of leaving and cleaving going on in the next 60 to 90 days.

We're overjoyed for Austin and Meagan and these new chapters of life they're entering into. A stepping stone from one block to the next will involve us celebrating the completion of Austin's studies with all eight of us in a cottage near Santa Cruz for the next few days. We'll relax and reflect, eat and sleep, hike and explore, and talk and pray.

Stepping into the next chapter.

Ganbei! (Cheers!)

Tom (& Victoria)

Crazy Love

The other day I came home from work and noticed a book sitting on the counter I'd never seen before. It was a paperback with a bright red cover entitled "Crazy Love", written by Francis Chan. (Francis Chan is a relatively young pastor of a large church in Southern California, Simi Valley, called Cornerstone Church. I first heard about Francis Chan from Austin, Annie and Meagan who heard him speak at one of the Passion Conference's they attended.) When I asked Victoria where she found the book, she explained that she read about it from one of the blogs she follows on a regular basis (called "The Journey", reflections from Amazima ministry; a link to which is posted in the right hand column of our blog). She bought two copies of the book at a bargain basement price thinking that it might be nice to read it together. Victoria also knows that I'm prone to steal books that she's in the middle of reading because her enthusiasm about a book tempts me to grab it from her when she's not looking so I see what it is that's so enthralling. She finds my bad habit to be fairly irritating, so this time I guess she was going to head it off at the pass.

By yesterday morning I was already into Chapter 3 and captivated by this pastor's simple love for Jesus, spelled out in terms and a language that's fresh and refreshing. Chapter 3 is entitled "Crazy Love", obviously the title of the book. But what's so crazy about it? And what love is he talking about? Well, last but not first, it's God's love over us, but it's also our love over Him. And it's crazy because His love toward us is, as Francis terms it, "insane" (incomprehensible), and likewise our love over Him should be crazy and "insane". He likens God's love toward us much as that of a father over his own children in the sense that he'd do anything for them, even die, to keep them resting in the security of their father. In fact, Francis has a web link that highlights his book wherein one can watch and hear him speak about each chapter, and on this particular chapter (#3) he has one of his little boys resting in his arms while comfortably seated on a couch, presumably in his home. This scene demonstrates in a very tangible way the very love God has over His children.

http://crazylovebook.com

This struck me because I know I feel that same way about my own children (all five of them) and I know it's the way my parents feel about me, but I don't often think of God's love over me in that way. While it's not a perfect comparison or analogy, I think it's about the best one I can identify with on a personal level. There's a part of me that says to myself, "This is pretty basic, Tom. I mean, you're just now coming to this realization after all these years?" Yes, and no. Sometimes you just need another angle to view what you've seen and known all along to focus anew on what was always there. I've read before from one of my favorite (but now gone to be with the Lord) Christian writers, A. W. Tozer, "What comes into our minds when we think about God is the most important thing about us..., and the most portentous fact about any man is not what he at a given time may say or do, but what he in his deep heart conceives God to be like." I'm hopeful that revisiting God's Word through the lens of Francis Chan's book will help me see God's love, among other things, much like an earthly father's love over his own.

Desiring Crazy Love,

Tom

At the Cross

Crisp Spring air, blue skies with streaks of white clouds patterned as stripes, calm bay waters, and the sun's rays angled at about 60 degrees created a setting that was screaming out to go for a worship-run today. I love my worship-runs; iPod in tow loaded with some of my favorite Christian artists' songs and the simplicity of running shoes, shorts and a t-shirt. That's all I need and I feel like I'm entering into a presence with God that cannot be duplicated anywhere else. Not only do I require the exercise because I'm sedentary at work all morning, but at about the noon hour I'm ready to "depart to the 'mountain' to pray" (Matthew 6:46b).

Lately I've been feeling rather melancholy about the world's injustices toward the helpless, noticing more than usual the ravaging effects of sin upon mankind. My readings, encounters with strangers, thought processes, and general spiritual condition have all directed me to mercy. With that pressing upon my heart, I just had to get out and ponder these things while on a worship-run. What I really felt I needed was a good dose of sensing the presence of God's love. God met me there and drew me in. Several songs entered my earshot while panting for air and pacing myself at a cadence that resonated with the tempos. But one song jumped out at me and I just kept hitting the repeat button every time it came to a close. It's entitled "At the Cross", sung by Hillsong.

I'm in a good place right now, even though I feel blue. It's a wintry season in the midst of Spring. He's pruning and blowing the leaves off my limbs. I wonder what shape He'll craft, and what blossoms will bud.

In His Love,

Tom

Olfactory Spring

Not too long ago Victoria was turned on to a pretty remarkable deal by a good friend of ours from our church where organically grown farm fresh produce is delivered right to our doorstep once every two weeks. It's surprisingly affordable compared to store bought produce, especially when you consider the time saved and the unbelievably superior taste of the food (not to mention the organic health of the product). Victoria is over-the-moon about it; in fact, one day when the box of produce was delivered to our front door she couldn't wait to show me how wonderfully packaged the fruits and vegetables were, and also how fantastic they smelled.  Victoria is very tactile, and this gift that religiously comes to our home twice a month really satisfies that artistic side of her.

Today we all drove to the farm where the food is grown and harvested, and enjoyed an open house the owners hosted for their customers. It was a perfect Spring day, with clear, crisp and fresh air. You could eat just about anything you could pick, so we stuffed ourselves with fresh carrots, apples, asparagus, and oranges. The owners and farmers are relatively young (they inherited the farm from their mother who passed away about five years ago), and were so very gracious. We were really drawn to them. To give you a "flavor" of the farm, I quote below from an insert that came in last week's produce delivery, written by Thaddeus (one of the owners who also graduated from Cal Poly in 2003):

"The changing of the seasons is a continuous transition - it is slow, steady and ever changing. I know this about the seasons and this fact leads to the argument that the seasons don't have borders, but grey areas between each season's heart. For me, there is always a day that strikes me as officially being part of the new season.

Last week I woke up, made my coffee and walked outside to be tickled by a warm breeze. The air carried hints of green grass and almond blossoms - birds were chirping in the background. As I filled my lungs with the treat, I admired the puffy clouds that loomed over the grass-green hills dotted with silhouettes of leafless, dark oak trees. In my bones I felt that Spring had started.

The field crews made the first pass through the asparagus field. The warmer weather has triggered a few of the asparagus roots to send up shoots. The field lay dark with moisture, the beds free of weeds from the last cultivation and a few asparagus shoots sticking up from the beds in the same fashion that toothpicks would look stuck into the ground. The shoots that have emerged have not been enough to harvest, but we are expecting to start harvesting next week.

Enjoy your box this week - Thaddeus"

Well, that was our day, and it will no doubt be memorable for many years to come.

Full,

Tom (& Victoria)

Mahna Mahna

Over the Holidays Austin shared a hilarious YouTube video of a Sesame Street vignette (randomly called "Mahna Mahna") that just brought us to tears in laughter. We thought it was so cute that we shared it with Poppy and Willow, who both seemed to get a kick out of it, but Poppy certainly more than Willow. We then shared that same video with several friends of ours, including our good friends from church, the Denny's. They also found it to be quite humorous and began to glob onto the song theme much like we did. Some time had passed since we enjoyed that video with the Denny's, but when Valentine's Day rolled around they gave us a singing stuffed "animal" (more like a miniature monster, actually) that sung (Wouldn't you know it?) "Mahna Mahna"! We showed this to the girls and for the first time since we've had both of them we witnessed a role reversal between them; Poppy was enraptured, but Willow was frightened to tears. It's really quite pathetic to see Willow avoid the Mahna Mahna Monster at almost all costs, so we try not to tease her with it (although it's awfully tempting because her expressions are so dang cute when she sees it). So we decided we would use the "monster" to our advantage and put it on a shelf in one of our closets that we've been trying to train Willow to stay out of because it looks like a tornado went through there whenever she comes out. She carefully watched me place it in the closet and..., it's working.

We hope you enjoy Mahna Mahna as much as we do, and certainly a lot more than Willow does.

Mahna Mahna (whatever that means),

Tom (& Victoria)

And the Lord Sits as King Forever

Yesterday, while in sunny (85 degrees) San Diego on business, I received a call on my cell phone from my Dad. I rarely receive calls from him in the middle of the work day, so I almost always try to answer the call regardless of what I'm in the middle of; most of the time I think I'm going to receive bad news or something, but that's not always the case. But that was the case this time, although the bad news turned out in the end to be good news. Out of self preservation, I'll spare the details here for fear I might be severely reprimanded for divulging something I shouldn't. (And, yes, my parents still have that kind of effect on me, even at this age.) Bottom line, what we thought could have been a severe health problem has turned out to be repairable with an extremely optimistic prognosis. For that I'm grateful. 

I remember one time receiving another one of those calls in the middle of the work day, only this time my Dad told me that he felt God had sent him a message to give me something quite valuable, and as it turned out it was something that our family was quite in need of. Who am I to turn my dad down, much less my Father? This was a profound moment for my Dad, and has since turned out to be profound for the rest of us in our family too.

Interesting, to state the least, that God allowed me to read from Psalm 29 this morning and journal these thoughts (that follow):

"The Lord sat enthroned at the Flood, And the Lord sits as King forever." (Psalm 29:10)

"It's raining hard today, but I'm sure not nearly as hard as it did thousands of years ago when God opened the skies and sent the raging waters down to flood the earth and destroy almost the entirety of His creation. What was He doing, I mean literally doing when that happened? The Psalmist says that He sat, and that He sat enthroned. There's a part of me that thinks He ought to have been pacing the floor and sort of rubbing His chin as if He were devising some alternative scheme to change course. But He actually did what my soul (deep down) receives the greatest amount of comfort from; He sat, in control, high and exalted, and completely enthroned in all His glory. Sound unsympathetic? Not at all, it's quite the contrary. This is precisely what I need my God to be and do, and the Psalmist reminds me that this is what He will do into eternity future; then, now and forever.

Floods of life will come and go, but they do not nullify His Kingship, and they do not diminish His glory. The world's forecast is pretty stormy right now with nothing but dark clouds on the horizon as far as the eye can see; but today I choose to believe that beyond those clouds that I cannot see through sits our God, enthroned as King and Ruler."

Warmly in Christ,

Tom