Love's Disappointment

All with love toward anyone has encountered disappointment. It's part and parcel to love. In fact, it's inescapable. When anyone decides to love another they open themselves up to all of its giddy butterflies as well as all of its heart wrenching aches. If you only want one end of love's continuum (the feel-good end), then you'll never know love at all. As the recipient of these juxtapositions, it's hard enough when you're stretched from one side to the other. But what about when you're the deliverer of them? It's not difficult to know when you're bringing the fulfilling part. You can see it on their face, you can sense it in their spirit, you can hear it in their voice. But if you're hearing, if you're watching, if you're attuned (if you're loving), then it's also not hard to know when you're bringing the not-so-fulfilling part. Hard love, complete love requires respect for both. This morning I promised my little Willow-tree that she'd have a special day with Daddy tomorrow, a day where we could hold hands, dress up, drink hot chocolate and gaze at dazzling Christmas trees. It would be a day to remember. I looked forward to it, and she spoke of it all day today to her friends, her siblings and her mother. But then life happened. Another love, another love was necessary, and that love would require this love to be disappointed. Now the tension. Now the choice. Either way, there's disappointment. That's love. But I learned something invaluable today. I learned something from a weeping Willow, a young sapling, a tender shoot. I learned that devoted love accepts disappointment when love extends beyond yourself. Willow knew that my love stretched beyond herself and that she could love by letting my love touch another. It didn't stop the tears, but it did soften the blow because she knew, even at five years of age, that you cannot hold onto love and hoard it. I suppose if I were to ask Willow if this is how she was loving today, she'd look at me with a tilted head and a puzzled look. But she doesn't have to explain it; she just has to live it.