Twilight Twinkles & Tubby Toads

Last night Victoria and I decided we'd take advantage of Annie and Barret being home at the same time and let them watch the girls for a spell while we went out for a nice dinner in Lafayette. We never really had a chance to celebrate our 26th anniversary together a few months ago, so this was going to be our belated one. Victoria chose a restaurant where we could sit outside (I always prefer the outdoors with sky over my head if I have a choice, even if the temperature is uncomfortable), so our dining experience was alfresco. A few moments into our enchanted evening together, replete with beautiful and relaxing Latin serenades, Victoria says to me, "That piped-in music is so lovely that it sounds like it's live." I said to her, with full view over her right shoulder, "Look behind you, Sweetheart." There he was, the live guitarist/musician literally only ten feet away playing the sounds she thought were recorded. And that was just the beginning. The rest of our meal, conversation, atmosphere and company were perfectly ordained for a very memorable night under the stars. After paying the bill, Victoria asked me to close my eyes and hold out my hands, and then placed a very unexpected gift into them that capped off a night that I thought couldn't get any better.

I don't deserve this, but I have the best wife in the whole wide world. "I love you, Sweetheart. Thank you for making my life complete."

Tom

PS: Of course any evening out with just your spouse and kids at home cannot possibly go uninterrupted without at least one minor "emergency" call from the house. The one last night from Annie informed us that while the girls were taking their routine tubby, Willow started to cry rather inexplicably. Annie couldn't figure out what was wrong with her for the longest time until she finally picked her up out of the water and noticed that one of the tiny, plastic toy frogs was stuck between the cheeks of her little rump. Poor precious thing; there's nothing worse than having a tubby toy-toad tucked in the touche.

Yeah!!! Annie's Home!

That's right! Annie came home on Thursday and boy do we have some happy little girls. Of course, Barret, Mom & Dad are pretty stoked too. Every family member brings a certain quality and character to the whole that just isn't complete when they're not there. For Annie, that's a fun-loving and spirited energy that just seems to bring a smile to everyone's face. She's the jester that makes us laugh the most in our family, and the girls know it too, even already at this early stage of their lives. In fact, Barret said just the other night, "I forgot how funny Annie is." It's so tender to watch Annie bath the little ones, push Willow on the swing, and love on them without any prompting whatsoever; it's just her joy to voluntarily do it. 

And yes,  now Barret's home from his three day all-school retreat, which also brings another piece of completeness to our family. He's the quiet one, but his presence is strong and his quick wit a welcome guest in most any conversation. (I think he got that from Victoria's side of the family.) 

Now there's just one more slice of the pie missing, Austin. We've spoken to him several times recently. He's currently in Rome, headed for Greece very soon. He'll hang there a bit, and round up to Florence, Italy before he finishes his tour back in Paris for his return flight home on the 3rd of September. Boy, we can't wait to see him and hear all of the stories we're sure he's stored up for us.

It's good to be alive.

Tom

Pensive Peers

When we first laid our eyes on Willow in that mezzanine hotel landing in Lanzhou, the primary distinctive feature that captured our affections were her eyes. She was so studious, so deliberate, so attentive and so inquisitive; these apparent character attributes were all clearly communicated to us merely through her eyes. She had this way of looking at us through the corners of those lids, glancing up, without ever blinking, and without ever turning her head that caused us to immediately and deeply ponder what this little girl was thinking and what made her tick. A few months later after having now loved on her as a child of our family, her eyes continue to enrapture us. I just couldn't help but try to bottle the essence of her peering stares into a poetic theme that partially reflects what we might envision her thoughts to be if we could delve into the depths of her soul:

Pensive Peers

What are you saying through those pensive eyes,

Peering from the corners,

Piercing through,

Protecting your borders,

To make sense of the cries?

Are you asking, "Why?"

Why was I the one,

Missing a part,

That prevents me to say,

And express or impart?

Born with a blemish,

And the plight of a girl,

Among the billions of souls,

And their search for a pearl.

Are you asking,” Who?"

Who was the one,

That left me alone,

On a threshold so cold,

Feeling lost and forlorn?

Born in a land,

Among others with sore,

Wondering who could release,

From the depth of their core.

What are you saying through those pensive eyes,

Peering from the corners,

Piercing through,

Protecting your borders,

To make sense of the cries?

Are you asking, "What?"

What would happen,

Of me now and to come,

So small, so young,

Hoping for life wherever it's from?

A future unknown,

Under the expanse of the skies,

Waiting, wanting,

Some release from my sighs.

Are you asking, "When?"

When was it conceived,

That my days were decreed,

To find a home,

When to stay and be freed?

To move about,

From shore to distant shore,

To land with another,

Whose past I safely adore.

What are saying through those pensive eyes,

Peering from the corners,

Piercing through,

Protecting your borders,

To make sense of the cries?

Are you asking, "Where?"

Where am I going,

And where shall the end I be,

Subject to fate,

And the hope that I'll see?

Held in love,

And the embrace of another,

Trusting my Maker,

And His love to smother.

What are you saying through those pensive eyes,

Peering from the corners,

Piercing through,

Protecting your borders,

To make sense of the cries?

Are you asking, "How?"

How can it be,

That one such as I,

Could possibly mean,

So much from on High?

Perfectly created,

In spite of such flaw,

And adorned with great love,

From the One born in straw.

Here's what I'm saying through my pensive eyes,

Peering from the corners,

Piercing through,

Protecting my borders,

To make sense of my cries.

While questions abound,

And I ponder them all,

I welcome the love,

He has to install.

That I might be safe,

And rescued from grief,

That I might not question,

His perfect relief.

-TMK

Transitions

Transitions. Seems like we're constantly in them these days. Sometimes it feels like the only thing constant in our lives is change. Not that that's a bad thing, mind you. Most of the time it's good, but it can also be painful. For example, we're switching out Annie's old room into the little girl's new room (image at left). As one might imagine, that's a bit bittersweet. Annie's coming home tomorrow (and we're ecstatic about that), but she leaves again in two to three weeks for her first quarter of college away from home. Barret's at a school retreat right now (and we miss him), but he comes home again in two more days. Austin's in Europe, but he returns in two weeks, only to leave again to go with Annie to CalPoly for their Fall, 2008 Quarter of studies. First Willow's sick, then she's getting better. But then Poppy comes down with an intermittent fever, while Victoria's on the mend from catching whatever Willow had. Sounds like I'm whining, but I'm really not. It's just that our world feels like it's in a tailspin at times, and instead of trying to pull out of it, I guess we're sort of just trying to draft off of the lift. When we have all seven of us back together again, we'll feel like we recovered just in the nick of time.

Enjoying the ride, but getting a tad bit vertigo.

Tom (& Victoria)

A Stylin' Poppy!

I just had to share the look on Poppy's face seen here, as she modeled for me her ability to completely dress herself! This ensemble was entirely hers, and she obviously has STYLE, don't you think? (

And at the very least, some stylish "attitude" regarding her clothing selections!)

And...we are on the "Annie Countdown" now too! Just 3 more dark-times until Annie comes home from Mount Hermon! We are very excited for Austin's homecoming too (September 3rd), but we'll savor these exciting events one at a time...this keeps Poppy's daily-question count at a tolerable level! : )

This other picture was taken as we left my brother's house in Redondo Beach last Saturday. My nephew Tyler is holding a wild-haired Willow and my nieces, Maggie and Morgan are sitting near Poppy.

We love you guys!!!

Lions, Tigers & Bears, Oh My!

Well, O. K., so there weren't any lions or bears, but there sure were a lot of tigers. At the circus we went to today, that is. Glitzy lights, colorful costumes, loud and fast tempo-ed live music, graceful acrobatics, beautifully groomed horses, goofy clowns, and the traditional ring master all made for endless entertainment for the girls. Even Willow managed to stay engaged throughout almost the entirety of the show, except for the last few minutes when her wiggle-ometer peaked and she just had to get a few of them out of her system. Victoria and I admitted that even we were quite impressed and fully enthralled ourselves. This was our first real outing with just the two girls and their Mom and Dad; a special treat for us all. (Barret's camping on the coast with some friends from our church.)

Just before we left for the circus we had to get the girls up from a nap so that we could make it there on time. Victoria decided to take Poppy and I took Willow. We gave ourselves just a little bit of extra time because as Victoria said just before we walked in their room to wake them up, "We're going to need to de-grumpify these girls before we leave." And boy did we ever. They were both in a stupor and pretty much immediately began to cry, actually almost wail, as we held them and tried to change their clothes. After I finished dressing Willow, we switched man-on-man coverage and I took over with Poppy, and Victoria with Willow. Since Poppy was clearly inconsolable by this point, I figured it was time for her to de-grumpify herself, so I placed her on the bench in the foyer all by her lonesome. I told her I'd come back when she was finished crying. Well, that didn't work because she continued to cry for quite some time. I then went and picked her up and told her, as I carried her to the study room, that she could cry in a room where she wouldn't disturb anyone else. I sat her on the love-seat, turned, walked away and started to close the door. Just before the door shut, Poppy blubbered in the most pathetic voice with alligator tears streaming down her face, "Thank you, Daddy." I couldn't believe my ears, so I softly asked her, "What did you say, Sweetheart?" She said, again through a whimpering cry, "Thank you, Daddy." I said, "O. K., Poppy." Then, I slowly closed the door, with melted heart on the floor, again dumbfounded by the things this little girl says. The crying not surprisingly stopped about one minute later.

We sure are blessed.

Tom

Surgery Is Off

When my family returned from their visit with our relatives in Southern California last Saturday, Willow managed to jettison her health and reenter into the world of sickness. (Victoria and I are confident that Willow's been ill more than well since we first adopted her.) This time she had a very runny nose and wheezy breathing. We were really concerned because we knew she was rapidly approaching her palate surgery date and that she needed to be perfectly healthy in order for the physicians to admit her. We were hopeful, with prayer, that she might get over this one quickly and just in time for her August 20th repair. It's required that she receive a full physical one week before the surgery date, so Victoria took her in for that this last Wednesday. While at work that day I received a text message from Victoria stating, "Surgery is off." Our fears became reality and we both chalked it up to God's perfect timing and plan. So, we each gave thanks in our hearts and now await another date to see her palate restored. We cannot fret over this. As my Dad always taught me since I was a young boy, "Only worry about those things you have control over." We won't worry about this one, and for that matter we'll try not to worry about too much else because when it comes right down to it, "What do we have real control over anyway?" 

Of course, wouldn't you know it? Victoria's managed to contract all that Willow had and more. Her throat hurt real bad, and she was horse in the morning and late evenings. She's now starting to feel a bit better.

Please join us in prayer that Willow's full health will return soon and that her surgery will be rescheduled in the not-too-distant future. Thank you for remembering her and us the next time you humbly approach the Father.

Warmly in Christ,

Tom

Sweet Moments - Ice Cream & Dogs

Here's a tender, summer moment last week between Poppy and our dog, Rosie. The dog is a bit forlorn because Poppy's enjoying a sweet cup of vanilla ice cream on a hot day while Rosie has to sit idly by and only dream of licking that cool, creamy delicacy on her long, slobbery tongue. She's being so good. I guess there's something about a dog and some ice cream that brings such peace and comfort to a three year old. If only these moments could last forever.

Speaking of Rosie, she was recently diagnosed with cancer while we were in China picking up Willow. We noticed a lump on her tummy before we left, and it apparently got larger while there, so Annie took her into the veterinarian only to confirm what we already feared. The tumor seems to enlarge and shrink on any given day. She doesn't appear to be in any pain, so we're going to enjoy and love on her as long as we can. We've had her since she was a puppy almost ten years ago. It will be a sad day when she has to leave us.

Warmly in Christ,

Tom

The Glory of God

This is the view (Mount Shasta) that I enjoyed from Friday through Sunday while attending our church elder - leadership retreat this last week. The weather was perfect; just the right temperature throughout the day, consistent mountain breezes that whistled through the evergreens and cottonwoods, quail cooing, cranes gracefully gliding, and crystal blue skies (except for the fire smoke yesterday afternoon). When we arrived at about 2:30 a.m. on Friday and opened up the car door, I could see with unobstructed clarity countless stars floating into an endless expanse, and in spite of my tired state I just couldn't go to bed for fear I'd miss out on that tremendous moment. I finally managed to crawl into bed at about 3:15 a.m. or so, and woke up a mere three and a half hours later because I wanted to see the sunrise and worship the Creator in that setting. I made a pot of coffee, poured myself a cup, and went outside with my Bible to sit in a lawn chair and soak it all up. It doesn't get much better than that; seeing the glory of God in the splendor of His artistry while at the same time reading about the glory of God in the majesty of His inspired Word. A minimalist foretaste of what's yet to come. 

A magnificent retreat with some of my favorite people in the world. The only thing that could have improved upon my experience was to have shared it with my family. It just wasn't designed to be, not this time.

Warmly in Christ,

Tom

It Is Not Good For Me To Be Alone

My entire family is out of the home right now. Austin's on the other side of the world in Europe, Annie's at Mount Hermon in Santa Cruz, and the rest of my brood is in Los Angeles visiting with family. I needed to stay here because of some important work obligations and because I leave tomorrow night to go on a church elder/leadership retreat at Mount Shasta. There's always this part of me that enjoys solitude, but only in small chunks, meaning not for very long. It's now been three days, and I think I've had enough. In fact, I had enough right into the first day because I knew it was the beginning of an eight day separation from the people I love most in my life. So for the last two evenings I've sort of dragged myself back to the house after an extra long day's work because I knew I really had nothing to come home to. I suppose I'm able to get some extra things accomplished that I wouldn't normally, but that's hardly a consolation. So this evening I pulled into the garage only to be greeted by three very hungry and needy pets (our dog Rosie, and our cats Penelope and Carmel). I fed them, took out the garbage for tomorrow's pick-up, and then hit the automatic garage door opener/closer to call it a day. When I heard the high-pitched sound of a screech like nails on a chalkboard and noticed that the garage door was struggling to close, I knew there was a problem. Sure enough, I hadn't pulled my car into the garage far enough (I misjudged because I didn't have Victoria's car to contend with and decided to park it in the middle of the garage - BIG mistake) and the door not only scrapped but actually gouged a nice, long vertical crevice into my back bumper. Aaaauuuggghhh!!! I was, and am sick to my stomach. I love that car; clearly too much. "Thank you, Lord. You knew I needed that."

Oh well, it's time to stop feeling sorry for myself. It's only a few days, it's just a car, and I still have now. I'm going to bed before I whine anymore or break something else.

"I miss you Victoria, Austin, Annie, Barret, Poppy and Willow."

Tom

Aunt Kristal (Sam)

All of the nieces and nephews (with the exception of Austin) of Aunt Kristal from my side of the family were able to spend some time with her this last weekend. In fact, this was the first time that Willow was introduced to her. My younger sister (I call her "Sam") lives in Idaho with her husband and two adopted children, and came to Alameda (nearby) this weekend to attend some Coast Guard Auxiliary Training that is made up of volunteers like Sam. It was very good to see her and spend some time together, and as you can see from the pictures below the girls were really comfortable with her and seemed to enjoy one another immensely. It's unfortunate that we're not closer in geographic proximity, but we'll take what we can get.

Tomorrow I fly down to Los Angeles for a two day business trip while Victoria and the kids ironically drive down to Los Angeles to spend time with her younger brother (Chris), wife and children. Poppy was so excited to go that she was counting the "dark times" until she left, beginning earlier last week. (Remember, this is how she counted down the time until we picked up Willow before we left for China.) Barret was equally excited to see his cousins, but wasn't quite so expressive about his enthusiasm by counting "dark times", but rather just maturely counting down the days. I'm going to miss them all so.

Warmly in Christ,

Tom

Waiting Can Be So Very Hard To Do!

Last night Annie came home again from Mount Hermon for the weekend. She walked through the front door around 12:30 a.m. or so. I waited until midnight, but just couldn't last any longer. Victoria and Barret had a lot more stamina than me. This morning Victoria woke me up at 7:30 so she could run off to an annual garage sale in a local neighborhood that she's always wanted to go to. I watched the girls who had already been up for well over an hour. Barret was sawing logs in his room, and Annie was still asleep as well. Poppy was so excited that her Annie was home that she was just begging to go into the room to wake her up so that she could be with her. I'm tellin' ya, she must have literally asked me about every five minutes if Annie was about to get up, I'd say for at least a solid hour. She finally decided to sit next to the bedroom door with all of her necessary comforts (stuffed Panda, snack-trap filled with Cheerios, and her special pink "B" - blankie) and patiently wait for that magical moment when Annie might open the door. After about 10 to 15 minutes she came running down the hall with the biggest grin on her face yelling, "Annie's up, Annie's up!" She couldn't have been more overjoyed. Such a sweet moment.

Willow, completely clueless about what was really going on was naturally intrigued by the commotion, so she ran down the hall only to run into a groggy little Annie. She, too, seemed to light up when she saw Annie. (Look at the picture below.)

One thing's for sure; these little girls love their Annie-girl.  And so do all of us (Barret, Victoria and me - and of course, Austin). The house just seems to be a bit more complete when she's in it.

Warmly in Christ,

Tom