Nighttime Challenges

Recently, Poppy has begun to exhibit extreme resistance to her evening bedtimes. She's always been one to only sleep partially through the night in her own bed, often ending up with Victoria and me in the wee hours of the morning. Since Annie's been off to Mount Hermon this summer Poppy's been going to bed in Annie's room (as opposed to ours - we only have three bedrooms) so that we can allow Willow to fall asleep on her own and in our room without any initial disturbances from anyone else. Several months ago we noticed that Poppy didn't like anything on the floor (like my flip flops or a stuffed animal) when she went to sleep, so we had to be careful to remove these things from her sight before "hitting the hay". Of course, if there was ever a bug or a fly in the room, that would certainly set her off, not to mention the fact that our cats would every once in awhile traipse into the room and cause her to tear up. Then a few weeks ago she thought that the fan in her room was coming after her, so we had to remove that. She's currently the only one in the family that falls to sleep (if even only momentarily) without fan noise. Now after she falls asleep, literally within 15 to 30 minutes or so she's screaming for her Mama, crying and sucking two of her right hand fingers (like you see above). Since she's in such hysteria and uncontrollable crying, often the kind that causes her to lose her breath and arrhythmically gasp for air, I usually can't resist the drive to pick her up, cuddle and try to comfort her. (Victoria does the same thing; we just take turns on various evenings.) When we try to get her to explain to us what the trouble is, she cannot put into words what's going on in her heart or mind. It's then that we often vacillate with mixed emotions between, "Should we keep doing this, or just let her cry? Are we digging ourselves into a deeper trap, or is this some seasonal thing that will pass and no one will be worse for the wear?" By stark contrast, Willow almost begs to go to bed, smiles and then waves while uttering a "gwa-gwa" or something like that as we leave the room and close the door.

All in all we're pretty relaxed about the whole situation with Poppy, even though our patience is often tried to the ninth degree. Bottom Line: Yes, this too shall pass, it's a minor inconvenience to us, and she's just too dang cute, adorable, and clearly needy at that hour of the day to parent differently. On this second go around with children there are just some things we're not going to get too hung up about. While we've tightened up in some areas, we're lightening up in others. But by the grace of God go we.

Warmly in Christ,

Tom (& Victoria)

Surprise!!!

I woke up this morning at about 6:30 or so (while everyone else was still asleep) and moseyed on out to the kitchen to get my traditional morning cup of "Joe", and then sat in my comfy chair in the family room to set my heart right for the day by reading some of the Bible and praying. I wish I could say that I faithfully do this everyday, but my flesh is often too weak to be so disciplined. About thirty minutes later Victoria sauntered into the kitchen, within my view, and she asked me why Annie's car was parked in front of our house and some of her clothes were strewn across her bed. I thought for sure she had mistaken the car for someone else's. I mean grey Toyota Camry's are a dime a dozen out here and I see a gazillion of them that look just like Annie's on the road all the time. But the clothes on her bed? Well, that was another matter altogether. It was obvious that Victoria was perplexed (as was I the more I thought about it) and somewhat worried. So I got up and headed to look out the window and sure enough, that was Annie's car. (I should know, I drove it for years.) I then walked into her room, but she wasn't there. There was only one other place she could be in the house and, yes, that was Barret's room. Both Victoria and I walked into his room together and there she was, her sweet little silhouette etched in the dawn light asleep on the top bunk. We walked up to her, jiggled her body and said in unison, "ANNIE!" She opened her eyes, smiled, and said, "Hi, guys." She had decided to surprise us by coming home for the night because she went to a John Mayer concert about one hour south of here and figured she might as well head home and love on her family for a bit before she headed back to Mount Hermon on Sunday afternoon. Standing in Barret's room I glanced over at Victoria and could see the most satisfied look on her face knowing that one more of her chicks was in the nest, if even only for a few hours or so. I must admit that it brought similar joy to my heart. We had a nice afternoon together before she headed down south. The picture above captures a tender moment between Poppy and Annie as they were together for a short while today. Annie's now safely back at Mount Hermon again for another week of counseling. In fact, as I wrote this blog entry this evening Poppy saw the picture of Annie above on the computer screen and she said, "Daddy, I miss Annie." "I know, Poppy, we miss her too."

Yesterday Victoria and I ran a few errands and on the way home she couldn't resist the temptation to stop at a couple of neighborhood garage sales (one of her most joyous weekend pastimes). As we drove up to the first one I stuck my thumb at her pointed in the down direction (silently indicating "Please don't subject me to this 'torture'."), and she instantaneously motioned back to me with her thumb in the up direction. She won out. And she scored! The dress-up outfits shown below brought such pleasure to the girls, all for only a few bucks. I couldn't help but post these photographs of them gleefully sporting their "new" garage sale wares.

Warmly in Christ,

Tom

Turning the Corner

We have some good news to share about Willow's health status and progress. First of all, it appears that her virus is finally clearing up, so her "slobbie" count is diminishing and her late night/early morning coughing fits have all but extinguished. Second, her EKG and echo-cardiogram results from yesterday seem to indicate that her heart is relatively healthy and normal; if anything, the doctor could only hear a faint tinge of a heart murmur, and even that was questionable. (The most difficult part of yesterday's doctor visit was the piercing screams and body writhing Victoria and the physicians had to endure trying to prepare Willow for the painless testing.) Which segues nicely into the final bit of good news, that her cleft palate surgery is now officially scheduled at Children's Hospital in Oakland for August 20th. (I've posted a diagram below showing the type of repair they'll give Willow.) I will probably take a day or two off from work to stay with Victoria and Willow both during and after the surgery. We suspect there could be some trying times ahead for us all. Regardless, we're grateful and look forward with great anticipation to seeing Willow restored to full health. It will be exciting to witness her speech pattern and eating habit transformations with a mended palate.

Thank you for your interest, prayers and support. We'll continue to keep everyone apprised as the day of her surgery draws near.

Warmly & Gratefully in Christ,

Tom (& Victoria)

Palate Repair, Furlow Technique

Happy Birthday, Austin!

"Hey Austin, this is such a classic picture of you (Berchtesgaden, Germany) enjoying the best of God's creation wherever you might find it and whenever you possibly can. The beard, the glean in your eye and the perfect smile on your face capture it all. You were always this way about the natural beauty that reflects the grandeur of His handiwork. Mom and I often recall (How could we ever forget?) your colic character as a newborn and that few things ever really settled you. But there were two things we could always rely upon as fail-safe guarantees to calm your spirits, one quite unnatural and the other all too natural.

For whatever reason that first time you heard a blow dryer, while lying and crying (rather screaming) in your bouncy looking up at Mom while she prepped for the day in the bathroom, it oddly enough seemed to naturally sooth your soul. And of course to this day you, and the rest of us Kruggel's for that matter, need (we almost must have) the unnatural noise of a fan to put us to sleep at night. Maybe it's your mechanical side that the sound of a motor satisfied even at your infancy stage of life.

And then there was that time, at one of those many times that you simply could not settle down at all, still crying and screaming, that only the accidental decision to provide you with a change of scenery seemed to meet your every need. Mom took you outside on the back deck in Seattle (still in that bouncy), and looking up at those swaying evergreen trees blowing in the wind you were mesmerized to such a degree that your whole body seemed to go limp. After that all one could hear was the breeze rustling through the tree limbs. And even today I suspect that you'd rather hear that sound more than most any other.

So, Happy Birthday Austin. The sight and sound of what God's created to display His majesty for His joy and the joy of all His people is probably the best birthday gift you could ever receive. Bask in His beauty, and rest in the peace of knowing that we're moving toward something even sweeter and away from something fading.

I (we) love you,

Dad (& Mom)

A Step of Faith

Today, although I am 6 months older than Tom (a fact much enjoyed by him), I can legitimately refer to him as my "elder". Why? Because this evening, after several years of disciplined biblical study, prayer and self-examination, Tom will be appointed or "ordained" as an Elder in our home church, Grace Bible Church. If you want to read more about this "office" or position within the church, you can look up a passage in 1 Timothy, Chapter 3, verses 1-8. (The term "overseer" and "elder" are the same).

Basically however, he will now share the responsibility before the Lord (along with 3 other men), for the spiritual welfare of this congregation of believers. It is a sobering responsibility. As Tom's wife, I am truly rejoicing today to see him step into this position. He has so many gifts and I look forward to seeing him exercise these more fully within our church. Any of you who still read this...(this may be an extremely small group by now... : ) know that my husband is an exceptional man in so many ways. (Of course, he is NOT a perfect man and he would cringe at the thought of anyone thinking so!) But, I rejoice in the thought that the Lord will use him, refine him and further mature him in this position. In serving others in this capacity he will be shaped more into the likeness of Christ. With all my heart I know that he is ready for this step, and for this journey of faith.

"I love you sweetheart and I am so proud of the man you are, and I am excited to see how God will grow you these next few years!"

Please pray for Tom...that God may be glorified in his life and that he will grow strong and have much joy in serving the Lord.

I'm Not Feeling So Hot

So, this picture pretty much sums it all up; Willow's still sick, and has been now for a few weeks. She just can't seem to lick this last virus.  She's got a nasty cough and often sneezes up what we've endearingly termed "slobbies" - they usually come in sets of threes. She goes in and out of bouts of crabbiness and the cutest disposition in periods of minutes or less. She's also a lot more clingy right now, mostly to Mama. Willow refers to me as Gaga, but then again we've determined that there's a lot of things she refers to as Gaga, so I'm not necessarily feeling especially identified by her speech (but I most definitely am by her affections - she's very quick to run up to me, grab onto my leg and give me a good, hard squeeze with a soft sounding "ooohhhh"). Our evenings are sometimes awakened by coughing fits from Willow, although she's usually pretty good about quickly falling back to sleep without us getting her out of her crib. Pray for our sweet little thing; she's due for another good stretch of sick-free health.

Poppy's just recovered from another illness, I'm sure caught by Willow. She's returning to her old self again here. Austin's camping in the Bavarian wilderness, so he's a bit radio-silent on the phone calls and blog updates. Annie had a tough week at Mount Hermon because she wasn't feeling so hot herself. (Gosh, as I write this you must think that we Kruggel's are a pretty sorry bunch. It's not that bad, really.) Barret spent some time with a few friends this week and helped us around the house with a few chores and watching the girls. Hard to believe that school will start for him in just about four weeks. Victoria and I are doing great.  

That's the latest for now.

Warmly in Christ,

Tom

A Horse Is A Horse, Of Course

Lately, after dinner, the girls and I have been going on evening walks through the neighbor - hood to enjoy the warmth of the summer dusk air, the crystal clear skies (now that some of the regional fires have subsided), and the quiet serenity of the golden brown hillsides. We'll usually walk (actually, I push them in a stroller) up a road behind our house to a hilltop overlooking some of the Lafayette valleys and rolling terrain. On the way up the hill there's a horse stable that offers boarding to various owners, as well as a small covered riding arena. We always see horses grazing along equestrian trails or meandering in the fenced areas. (We're also almost guaranteed a deer sighting or two as they seem to have overpopulated our neighborhood and have also managed to munch most of our front yard flowers.) Poppy and I creatively and randomly made up names for all of the horses that we've seen.  Since most of them are either brown or white, the names we've picked are things like Chocolate, Radiant, Icicle and Snowflake. We did actually meet one of the horse owners two nights ago and she has an absolutely gorgeous one named Captain (that's his real name). Although Willow cannot really enunciate words very well, she usually shows her enthusiasm for the animals by wiggling pretty wildly in the stroller while at the same time trying to make the sound of a horsey. This picture was taken this evening right after the sunset while enjoying the view at the top of our destination. While standing there we listened to the shriek of a hawk effortlessly taking advantage of the northwesterly updrafts. These are sweet and simple moments I know I'll never forget. I hope they're moments that Poppy will fondly remember too, and building blocks for a strong bond with Willow.

Warmly in Christ,

Tom

Blackberries!

Black - berries! And not the unnatural kind we hold in our hands that feed electronic messages to us all day long, but the natural and wild kind that feed our stomachs and now grow on the fence line along our back yard. The stains of those little tasty morsels are a result of attempting to eat more than the girls actually collected, which is what you see on Willow's face in these pictures with her loving brother, Barret. That's why she really needed her routine daily tubby-time (always with Poppy), and a chance to dry off with her pink elephant towel (shown below). The remaining fruit of their labor amounted to a total of 56 berries (picture below), of which they were so proud. We love our Summers here, and our backyard is where we spend almost all of our time, replete with all of the provisions for life.

While we were taking these pictures, Poppy asked me if she could also snap a couple of shots. I told her it would be fine, knowing that it's a digital camera with little she could possibly harm and also knowing we could delete pictures of who knows what a toddler might frame. After taking a few random photographs, I became concerned about the welfare of the camera (the way she casually held it and also remembering that it's not ours, but Austin's) and took it away from her. Poppy looked up at me and said, "Uh, hey... uh, you're not supposed to grab things out of people's hands like that!" Wow, now where had I heard that before? I was narced by a 3 year old. Little escapes her. I couldn't help but chuckle, admit the inappropriateness of my behavior and ask her to forgive me. (Is it, "Do as I say, and not as I do?" That's pretty lame.)

Pray for our little yearling forms of plant-life (Poppy and Willow). They're both rather sickly, and we're a bit concerned, especially for Poppy (her cough is deep and atypical). Victoria will take them to the doctor again tomorrow.

Warmly in Christ,

Tom

P. S.: We understand Austin is in Berlin and has probably snarfed some sweet schnitzel by now (something he had a hankering for). Next stop? Prague, Czech Republic.

The Play-Doh of Life

Playing with a little bit of Play-Doh with the girls this morning reminded me of an important, but simple truth about life, especially after about 15 minutes into the play-time when Poppy said to me, "I just love playing Play-Doh with you and Willow." I knew exactly what she meant when she said that. It was more than the act of taking those different colors of soft, squishy and cool blobs of nothing and trying to mold them into something. And it was more than the fun of making a mess together knowing that it was perfectly acceptable to do so. And it was more than improving on manual dexterity skills and learning how to create images that marginally resemble real life figures. It was the soothing comfort and security of just being together without any other life distractions whatsoever. When everything else in life is set aside for the immediacy of now, as if there's no past or future, especially when you're in the presence of someone you love so much that you'd be willing to lay aside anything for them, then you're loving the bliss of the Play-Doh moments of life.

Here are some other quick updates on various members of our family: Austin's in Copenhagen, Denmark now after traversing what already seems like the four corners of the earth (click on blog link in lower right hand corner for more details). Annie just finished up another week at Mount Hermon, this time counseling one-on-one with a girl diagnosed with autism. I think this was a real challenge and a real treat for Annie, both at the same time. Barret enjoyed a great day @ Waterworld this week, but was unfortunately the victim of theft as someone broke into his (and his friends) locker and stole his wallet (with about $125 and his driver's permit in it) and his cell phone; a tough pill for him to swallow. Right now he's out with Victoria enjoying a breakfast together. Poppy and Willow are great, except that Willow's now come down with yet another virus. (She's got to build up that immunity system of hers.) Willow had a "well" check-up with the pediatrician yesterday and she seems to be doing fine, but hasn't gained one pound since we've had her. We also notice that her speech is very delayed, but we're confident that once she has her cleft palate surgery that her speech and weight gain will improve. Right now we're waiting for her echo-cardiogram appointment to pass (July 23rd) before we can schedule that surgery.

That's it for now. Enjoy the Play-Doh.

Tom

What's Up Is Down & What's Down Is Up

I don't know why, but all of the sudden I just started to feel a little melancholy. Sometimes it just hits me, right out of the blue. I have nothing to be blue about, but... Strange I know, but I often find myself most content at periods like this. Perhaps it's selfish, maybe it's just being tired, but more than likely it's a spiritual thing (as is just about everything in our lives when you boil it all down). So what's this all about? I think it's often, for me, about striving too hard to make everything count for something or else it's nothing at all. Yet, this is precisely what Jesus freed me from, "For My yoke is easy, and My load is light". (Matthew 11:30) This is one of the many things I love so much about Jesus; He turns my world upside down so that I'm right side up, because every natural inclination for me is to right myself up which only leaves me upside down. So for now, I will go to bed in reflection, hoping that I don't reflect too long for I fear it's burning impressions.

An odd entry I know, but that's where I am.

Tom

How Old Am I Anyway?

In a just a few hours I will hit a significant milestone in my life (at least for me); turning the corner into being a half century young. It's a bit of an odd thing, especially when I think back to my early teenage years and recall lying on my bed at night, contemplating the meaning of life (even and especially at that age), never really believing I'd live long enough to venture into the 21st century. I don't know why I felt that way, I just did. I had visions of what life might be like around the year 1999. Of course, they were nothing like what I thought. God has given me so much more than I ever imagined, and most of all He's given me hope that this is just the beginning. Really though, the beginning for me started long before I'd ever breathed my first on this place, because before I was formed "Thine eyes have seen my unformed substance; And in Thy book they were written, The days that were ordained for me, When as yet there was not one of them."(Psalm 139:16) So, from His perspective, I have absolutely no idea how old I am. There's one thing I know for certain though, and that's that I have only just begun, both on this earth and in the heavens to come.

I was talking to a wise older man last Thanksgiving and he told me (and Victoria) that we were now heading into the most productive years of our lives. Looking back at how God has changed our lives in just two short years with the addition of our sweet daughters from China, and looking ahead to what He has in store for us with them is just one area of "productivity" that I could have never constructed on my own. Poppy and Willow, coupled with Austin, Annie and Barret (together with Victoria) are treasures that I pray will yield boundless joy in the Kingdom for now and into eternity. Likewise, the foretaste of heaven divine here on earth gives me great promise for a future that no human mind can fathom; a seat at the banquet table with the One who's created and known my frame from before there was a there.

I enter into these next years more excited and anticipatory than ever. This is a good day.

Gratefully in Christ,

Tom

Mount Hermon

Howdy! We’re back from Mount Hermon Christian Conference Center and our traditional summer family vacation (16 years now; we first started going every summer when Victoria was pregnant with Barret). We love it there; the old Redwoods (some of them dating back into the first millennia), the fresh nature smells, the sound of the Roaring Camp train whistles, the familiar routine, the safe environment, etc… It’s almost as if Mount Hermon acts as a human Monopoly Game for us Kruggel’s, predictably passing “Go” every year, but only after landing on places of both exuberant exultation (the "Boardwalk") and fast-paced frustration ("Go To Jail") before arriving. We can almost remember every summer vacation on the conference grounds, watching the sands of time tick by with each child growing up and experiencing new and life changing activities along the way. Victoria and I first met there about 30 years ago while working @ Ponderosa Lodge (the High School Camp for Mount Hermon). Last year Austin worked there as a camp counselor following in the footsteps of his parents, and Annie (nicknamed “Pixie”) is in her second year as a counselor at the Day Camp (Elementary Age School Children). Barret has also been a camper at Ponderosa Lodge (last year), and will attend again this year in about two weeks or so. The girls (Poppy and Willow) were quite content in that setting, easily falling into the comfort of childcare where the counselors loved and doted on them for several hours a day (morning and evening). Victoria and I were able to spend some good time as just the two of us getting into what we love best as a couple, deep conversations (about family, being a Christian, our future, etc…) and prayer. Life seemed to slow down there, and we were able to worship our love, Jesus, in ways we simply find difficult in our home setting. We have often said that we feel as though that place is “holy ground”. We’re grateful for Mount Hermon, and hope all of our children will remember it with fondness and as a place where they could contemplate the Lord in ways that will serve as building blocks throughout their lives and in their households.

Peacefully in Christ,

Tom

PS: These pictures were taken at various locations throughout Mount Hermon last week. Pixie loves her little “sisties”.