Bonhoeffer

I'm riveted by this man, Dietrich Bonhoeffer. His most recent biography by Eric Metaxas attempts to explain someone that is beyond explanation. His passion and conviction seem unprecedented to me, all borne from (seemingly ironically) Jesus' peaceful Sermon on the Mount. I've since gone back and poured over that sermon with a plea for eyes that might see more clearly, ears that might hear more intently, and a spirit that might be moved more completely.

To help I paraphrased Jesus' Beatitudes to contemplate them more easily, and here they are:

The poor in spirit,
their kingdom is heaven

The ones who mourn,
their comfort shall be

The meek of soul,
their inheritance the earth

The parched of holiness,
their satisfaction brought nigh

The pure in heart,
their vision is God

The display of peacemakers,
they're sons of God

The persecuted for righteousness,
their kingdom is heaven

The reviled of Jesus,
their reward is heaven

And while Jesus' Sermon on the Mount encompasses much more than the Beatitudes, I couldn't go any further into it as I'm now riveted again by this man, Jesus, and the first eight stanzas from His mouth as He stood on a hill and echoed from God.

Contemplatively,

My Cause to Pause

Today Victoria sent me a phone mail message and picture that melted my already gooey heart, stopping me dead in my tracks with a cause to pause. Her message, to quote verbatim, "Poppy's art from today (from kindergarten)... five years ago she didn't have a family... so grateful she's ours!"

This weekend will mark our five-year anniversary ("Gotcha Day") with a heart-broken, uncontrollably weeping and helpless little girl that we didn't have a name for (except her given name, Qing Zu Qiao). Hours later, while we all lay on a hotel bed staring frozen at this bundle of wonder, Victoria looks at me after a little giggle from that same pathetic face just moments before, and says, "This is one of my best days."

And right now? This is one of my best moments.

The Full Spectrum

Victoria tapped into her spontaneous side today and at the last minute decided she'd head down to surprise Annie before finals week @ CalPoly San Luis Obispo. That's the bright and fun side of the experience. The dark and not-so-fun side is what must occur immediately beforehand - telling all the kids that she's going to be gone for the weekend. Adventures that don't involve the entire family are always two-edged swords.

The reactions between the two youngest girls at Victoria's pronouncement are as juxtaposed as night and day, and even have the feel of each. Poppy's fear and sorrow immediately set in, and her usual angelic face turned into a sopping wet cascade of "alligator tears". But Willow's joyful and carefree countenance remained unfazed, bouncing like a little "Tigger" from one room to another as if life were a box of chocolates - they're all sweet even if they come in different shapes and types. And while Piper is disappointed her Momma will not be there to lean on, she's old enough to process space and time, also realizing that momma's are stretched and need to be released to do more than care for just one. And Barret? He's just been there too long and too many times to be moved one way or another.

There's a part of us that wants to favor one reaction over the other, as if one were more healthy, more acceptable and appropriate. Maybe, but we've come to so love the broad continuum of "hard wiring" in all of them. Each are an essential part of the character of our household, and it's so good that we all, kids included, must wrestle with the fact that we're not like the other. We each have to wrestle with the fact that our make-up is not necessarily the preferred one or the best one. We each have to come to terms with releasing the notion that all must conform to be like us. We easily learn early on that others ought to be as we are, but the more difficult process is to learn that all should not be so and to love the astounding differences between us that must be present to complete a whole.

The easier ones are sometimes like Willow's, and the stretching ones are sometimes like Poppy's. Give us both, and everything in between. They're all needed, not just for their sakes but ours also.