Saying Goodbye and Saying Hello

Just moments ago our dear Annie drove out of our driveway to begin her summer of camp counseling at Mt. Hermon, (the summer camp where Tom and I met, in the Santa Cruz mountains). When she returns home in August she will quickly pack again to move to San Luis Obispo and her next adventure as a Graphics Design student at Cal Poly. 

Words cannot adequately express the joy and gratitude that I feel for the closeness of our mother/daughter relationship.  The only "downside" to such closeness is the pain in letting go when we must. I am comforted to remember that our God has ordained these seasons of life..."For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven..." (Ecclesiastes 3), or I would be tempted to cling to certain seasons in an unhealthy, unyielding way.

Our first night back from China I laid in bed softly singing "Edelweiss" to Willow to woo her to sleep. My voice cracked as I was overcome with such a variety of thoughts and emotions ... my familiar bed, a new child in my arms, thinking of my older children in their rooms with whom I had almost finished my parenting race.  So much saying "goodbye" and saying "hello" all at once...my heart felt stretched out, as if on a rack,  on both ends of the continuum.  I had to get up to tell Annie that as happy as I was/am about Willow (and Poppy), they could never "replace" her in my heart or my life. (One child can never replace another!)  Annie and I shed some tears together and spent some tender moments talking about change and the subsequent joy and pain that it always seems to bring with it.  

So now...my Annie has pulled out of the driveway of my daily life and I will miss her presence terribly.  But God is GOOD and he will bring good to her as she grows more fully into the beautiful woman she is becoming.  And I will grow too as I settle more deeply into my ordained role as "mommy", once again.  

Annie, laughing with you and BEING with you  is one of the greatest JOYS of my entire life. Thank you dear daughter, goodnight... your Mom is praying for you!