So Many "Firsts" (Or So We Thought)

Bringing a child home from China the age of Xiao Qian comes with a parental expectation that there will be many "firsts" for her (this is sort of a "given" for a newborn because everything is a "first"). For example, Xiao Qian's first airplane and train rides were with us. The first time she ever stayed in a hotel was with us. The first time she ever visited any other Chinese province outside of Guangdong was with us (when we went to Guilin in Guangxi Province). The first time she ever had any pets was with us. The first time she ever really owned much of anything other than the clothes on her back and few little sundry items here and there was with us. The first time she was sworn in as an American citizen was with us. And, of course and most significantly, the first time she ever had brothers and sisters, or a Mommy and a Daddy (that she can really remember), was with us. And when you think about it, all of these things have happened in a relatively short span of time in her life - all within the last few months. So to state that "she's seen a lot of 'firsts'" would be an understatement.

Right now we're in Avila Beach, California for Spring Break (very close to Cal Poly - San Luis Obispo, Austin & Meagan's Alma Mater, Annie's University "home" and hopefully Barret's too) and this is her first "vacation" with us, of sorts. And living on the coast brings with it the first time for her to ever see the ocean. She sort of saw that when we went to Hong Kong, but she only saw the bay. And she sort of saw that when we went into the City of San Francisco on several occasions but, again, she could only see the bay. But yesterday we went to the beach after we woke up and moseyed on down to the boardwalk (a short one minute jaunt). With waves crashing and the fresh smell of the sea-salt air, she could experience for the very first time the expanse of the Pacific Ocean as far as the eye could see. She hurried up to the railing that looked down upon the beach below and yelled "Ku" (cool). Victoria, the kids (pre-adoption) and I used to live only two blocks from the beach in Redondo Beach, California over ten years ago and had a view of the ocean, so we saw it everyday. It's still "Ku" to us today (and one of my favorite of God's creations; Victoria's is the mountains and its evergreens). I explained to Xiao Qian that if she were to take a boat and head straight out from the beach that she would eventually end up below where we stood and hit the east coast of China, very near where she's originally from. She said, "Noooo, Babi", and I said, "Yeeees, Xiao Qian". We said this back and forth to one another several times. She thought I was "fengla" (crazy) and kidding around. When she realized I was serious and telling her the truth, she said once again, "Ku". And that, too, is indeed cool. We stood there for awhile, walked down along the gradually sloped water line and explored the area while looking for sea shells. We didn't find many because it's a heavily visited beach (we're sure she had this vision in her mind that all beaches are covered with gobs of gorgeous sea shells - the "first" of many fantasies about America and life in general that were shattered in that moment). We then told her we had to return to the apartment, grab something to eat real quick and then come back and spend more time at the beach. She couldn't wait to hurry along to make all of this happen as fast as possible (a theme of life of Xiao Qian).

The pictures below give just a glimpse of how excited Xiao Qian was to play in the ocean (it was freezing cold, mind you). She frolicked, splashed, jumped, smiled, laughed, ran, walked, sauntered, explored and just literally soaked in the ocean. She loved it. A marvelous "first" that did not disappoint.

But sometimes we think we're going to give Xiao Qian a first, only to realize that she's already had that experience. Being occasionally associated with some westerners over the last three years in China (we've blogged about this before) gave her exposure to many western traditions that we thought she would experience with us for the first time. She's familiar with Christmas, the calendar New Year, Halloween and Thanksgiving. One of the things we were excited about this weekend was to share Resurrection Sunday with her for the first time, and also have a nice little Easter-egg hunt. We quickly found out that she'd already enjoyed this tradition while living in China, to such a degree that it made our day and festivities seem benign. So we've been reminded once again that our time together as a family is not about experiences and activities, but rather about belonging and securing. These are "firsts" that cannot be replicated because they run much deeper than a point in time, but rather build and continue into perpetuity for as long as we shall live.

"There's nothing like candy first thing in the morning."

So here's to "firsts", and to many what we thought were going to be "firsts" but were not. And here's to life, its surprises and its disappointments, and its joys and its sorrows. We know and experience the extremes of it all, appreciating both ends of the spectrum from the left to the right and from the right to left. All are good.