Adopted for Life: Dis-Appointments or Divine Appointments?

[This is a recent article I wrote for our local church newsletter about a week ago that I thought I would also post here.]

I was recently released from a dark dungeon of despair. It was lonely and cold in there. Not surprising. Prisons are designed to be that way. I don’t ever want to go back again. Who would? No one relishes those places. And as much as I don’t want this newsletter article to be about me, I want it to be about not being me. You see, I’ve had to lately let go of some things that I love and I’ve allowed that to thrust me into the catacombs. A few of those things are tangible, but in the end they’re all intangible – dreams if you will. Rather than focus on the particulars of what those are, which really don’t matter, I’d rather focus on the response. Chances are pretty good that I will one day find myself standing before the gate of such a cellar again. We all will.

Victoria (my wife) and I have come to the not-so-revelatory conclusion that with the passage of time come increased risks of disappointments. Disappointments because visions of the future and what they might be are painted very early in life. And then, when our God-given course of life actually has a landscape that’s carved into a very different reality, grave discontent can set in. Those realities have a vast array of appearances. Perhaps it’s a job that, even in our wildest imaginations, we never thought we would be doing. Maybe it’s a relationship that looks nothing like what it initially seemed to promise. It could be family members that are unexpectedly struggling in school, in marriage, or in health. The list of possible imaginings verses actualities is endless. Nobody longs for these dichotomies. Nobody intentionally maps out a course of life only to tear it up and move in the exact opposite direction, the one that was originally trying to be avoided. My recent and misguided response to these redirects is what I want to write about in brief, and also how God has redirected my reaction to the redirects.

We’ve all been very well taught here at Grace Bible Church - that we fall under the supreme rule of Almighty God (cf. Psalm 47:8; Psalm 115:3). In my most recent crisis (and I use that term very loosely) I’ve had several remind me of His absolute authority. But that truism and its verbal repetition by well intentioned kinfolk seem to recently fall short of assuaging my disappointments, disappointments that (to confess) have led to occasional bitterness. While my head knows Him to sit on high, my heart can beat for another that sits much lower… me. In other words, I claim pseudo-sovereignty, a condition (and big word) of having the appearance of being sovereign but in actuality it’s a sham of sovereignty. I’m fooling no one but myself. And in those moments when I assume a role that I was never intended to have, my discontented disappointment usurps contentment in a divine appointment. When you get right down to it, I choose to no longer believe the plans of my LORD, ones that He crafted from long ago, and ones that He’s never forgotten – plans that are for welfare and not calamity, plans for a future and a hope (cf. Jeremiah 29:11). I choose to no longer believe that Jesus rules over all things (cf. Ephesians 1:20-23). I choose to blow a hole in my gospel, and that gaping hole cuts a gorge between the whole of life abundant – grace that decimates what I think is best and grace that cooperates in what He knows is best.

This tension can be difficult for us followers of Jesus because we must always believe that there is no happenstance (cf. Proverbs 16:33), even in hardship, and at the same time believe that God pronounces Himself to be always in the business of doing good (cf. Romans 8:28-30). When we fail to press into this full spectrum of gospel grace and also hold these tensions in proper balance, all of life can become catawampus – feeling like a prisoner when in truth we’re free (cf. John 8:32). So to stabilize myself (ourselves) between feeling disappointed and trusting in God’s divine appointment, I record here just three of His redirects to my (our) misdirects:

The Process Can Be As Meaningful As The Outcome: We people want results. We develop plans with an intended conclusion, and we want to see progress along the way. It’s in our DNA, so to speak. And while the end of all things is of importance to God, the means of getting there is also noteworthy. It, too, is an act of grace that’s under His divine appointment. “The mind of man plans his way, But the Lord directs his steps.” (Proverbs 16:9) Sometimes we get to see the result(s), and sometimes we don’t. Disappointment can be counteracted when we intentionally choose to perceive and believe that it’s the Lord cutting a swath through our jungle-of-life, even when it’s on a route that’s a diversion from the one we charted for ourselves. He’s accomplishing something significant along the way long before we ever arrive – it’s called “becoming-like-Jesus”, the rose of Sharon, the lily of the valleys (cf. Song of Solomon 2:1). In God’s economy, the ends do justify the means.
The Letdown Can Be A Catalyst To The Uplift: In our greatest disappointments we’re brought to a lowly place. “Hope deferred makes the heart sick.” (Proverbs 13:12a) But it’s often in those moments when we feel we’ve lost all control that our greatest dependence is yielded to Him. In a very real sense He has us right where He wants us, right where He’s always wanted us. We’re at a place where we have nowhere else to turn and we relinquish all dominion to its rightful owner. Disappointment can be a bellwether that drives us to our knees, making us “a humble and lowly people,” taking “refuge in the name of the LORD” (Zephaniah 3:12b), the Divine One who appoints a time for everything (cf. Ecclesiastes 3:1). In a very real sense, low can be the new high.
The Finale Can Be A Hope Through The Episodes: Although we’re dreamers and schemers, it’s sometimes hard to see beyond the moment when our best laid plans bring disappointment. That’s partly because we can’t see further than the here and now. But is that really the case for us? Hasn’t God given us a glimpse, if even only through a mirror dimly (cf. I Corinthians 13:12a)? Reading ahead feels out of order. However don’t we sort of already know the end of the story? “The end of a matter is much better than its beginning.” (Ecclesiastes 7:8) Revelation is for our revelation, and while it’s a book and even woven throughout The Book, its anticipation brings hope through the beginning and the in between of our most hopeless episodes of life. Easier said than done, especially in the heat of the disappointing scenes, but that’s partly because we forget to remember the finale that’s already been scripted (cf. Philippians 3:12-4:1). Of us our finale is promised, "They shall hunger no more, neither thirst anymore; neither shall the sun beat down on them, nor any heat; for the Lamb in the center of the throne shall be their shepherd, and shall guide them to springs of the water of life; and God shall wipe every tear from their eyes.” (Revelation 7:16-17) Jesus’ apparent disorder is perfect order, when the last becomes our first.