God Is Organizing

The other day while walking along the beach with our little Pop-Tart, she asked me to pick her up from the ground because the sand was too hot on her feet. Lifting her to my chest so mine was touching hers, I wrapped my arms around her to hold her snug. She wanted to go to the nearby swings planted in the sand next to the boardwalk, so we headed in that direction. Along the way I was soaking in the moment and so enjoying holding this little wildflower in my arms. Suddenly I blurted out with a soft voice into Poppy's left ear, "Why do you think God was so kind to Mommy and Daddy to give us such a sweet little Poppy-girl?" Poppy didn't have to think long and quickly replied, "Because God is organizing." I was immediately impressed with the accuracy of her theology at such a young age because God is, indeed, a God of order (cf. I Corinthians 14:33). Thinking that I knew what she meant by that statement, I said, "O, I see. You mean God saw that there was a little girl by the name of Poppy over in China and He said, 'I think that little girl over there needs a family so I'm going to give her to Mommy and Daddy.'" She said, "No, God saw that Mommy and Daddy didn't have enough children because all they had was Austin, Annie and Barret, and decided that they needed a little Poppy-girl like me so He gave me to you." Profound, I thought. Here I was thinking that Victoria and I were being used by God to do something for her, and here she was thinking that she was being used by God to do something for Victoria and me. I suppose that if I think about it long enough (although it doesn't take much thought, really), the scales of impact are more heavily weighted in our favor, meaning that Poppy's influence over us has perhaps been heavier than ours on hers. Who knows for sure, but God? Regardless, our simple exchange reminded me once again that giving ourselves away yields rebounded effects that should never serve as the motive for love, but always serve as the effects of love.

Thank you, Poppy.

More Possible Impossibilities

The sermon series that I blogged about a few weeks ago (Radical: What the Gospel Demands) has got me thinking hard (and Victoria too, although she's not been able to get as far into the series as she'd like). The words of Jesus drawn from the gospel of Mark, Chapter 10, Verses 17-31 that were referenced on numerous occasions throughout the series haunt me (in a good way) as I consider the literal demands of Jesus upon the rich, young ruler. Many are familiar with this story wherein a young man, replete with wealth confidently approaches Jesus and asks Him what he must do to have eternal life. There is an exchange between the two of them that dashes the young man's confidence, then builds it up again, and then obliterates it once and for all when Jesus asks him to sell all he has and follow Him. The Bible says the young man's countenance dropped and he left grieved because he had much wealth. Jesus then told the disciples that it would be very hard for rich men to enter the kingdom of God (of which I am one), and then compared it to something that is simply impossible to accomplish - literally threading a camel through the eye of needle. Now was not only the rich, young ruler grieved, but so were those who followed Jesus because they then drew the conclusion that no one could be saved. And their conclusion was correct, at which point Jesus redirects their despair away from themselves and directs their hope to God and in Him alone. Jesus just shattered their paradigms, once again, and made the impossible possible.

Every once in awhile I like to pen a few stanzas of poetry (or attempted poetry) and tried to capture this intercourse between Jesus and the young man in poetic form so that I might remember it more indelibly. Here's (below) what came out:

Feeling so good,

The man knelt down,

And asked the Good Man,

"What must be done,

To have the life,

From the promised One?"

"And why am I,

As one called good?

You know of the God,

Our sins withstood.

Only He's the one,

Called 'Good' if one would."

Confused men muse,

And thought within,

They asked of themselves,

"He's known no sin,

And has obeyed;

There's no good in Him?"

The man did all,

All that was asked.

Feeling so sure,

He sought a task.

Only to hear,

It's beyond his grasp.

O' the Good Man,

Loved him as rich,

And gazing in eyes,

He did not mince,

"Go sell it all,

Or remain a wretch."

"Treasure's not here,

Follow me there."

That is what He said,

Save not to spare.

The rich man left,

With utter despair.

"Hard for the rich,

To enter in."

Amazed there they stood,

To hear from Him.

"One can thread through,

Small holes before then."

"Can one be saved?"

They asked Jesus.

Now hopeless in thought,

No where to trust.

"With man no way,

But only with Us."

How can this be,

That I cannot save,

It doesn't seem just,

When I behave.

And that's the place,

To which man's a slave.

God help me see,

At life's facade,

That it need not be,

Nor seem so odd,

Impossible man,

But with possible God.

Victoria and I are prayerfully hopeful that God does something radical with our lives, for this is what the gospel demands. Radical not for the sake of "radical-ness", but radical because everything about the Christian life is radically opposed to most everything we know and adore about life on this earth.

Pursuing More Possible Impossibilities,

So Many "Firsts" (Or So We Thought)

Bringing a child home from China the age of Xiao Qian comes with a parental expectation that there will be many "firsts" for her (this is sort of a "given" for a newborn because everything is a "first"). For example, Xiao Qian's first airplane and train rides were with us. The first time she ever stayed in a hotel was with us. The first time she ever visited any other Chinese province outside of Guangdong was with us (when we went to Guilin in Guangxi Province). The first time she ever had any pets was with us. The first time she ever really owned much of anything other than the clothes on her back and few little sundry items here and there was with us. The first time she was sworn in as an American citizen was with us. And, of course and most significantly, the first time she ever had brothers and sisters, or a Mommy and a Daddy (that she can really remember), was with us. And when you think about it, all of these things have happened in a relatively short span of time in her life - all within the last few months. So to state that "she's seen a lot of 'firsts'" would be an understatement.

Right now we're in Avila Beach, California for Spring Break (very close to Cal Poly - San Luis Obispo, Austin & Meagan's Alma Mater, Annie's University "home" and hopefully Barret's too) and this is her first "vacation" with us, of sorts. And living on the coast brings with it the first time for her to ever see the ocean. She sort of saw that when we went to Hong Kong, but she only saw the bay. And she sort of saw that when we went into the City of San Francisco on several occasions but, again, she could only see the bay. But yesterday we went to the beach after we woke up and moseyed on down to the boardwalk (a short one minute jaunt). With waves crashing and the fresh smell of the sea-salt air, she could experience for the very first time the expanse of the Pacific Ocean as far as the eye could see. She hurried up to the railing that looked down upon the beach below and yelled "Ku" (cool). Victoria, the kids (pre-adoption) and I used to live only two blocks from the beach in Redondo Beach, California over ten years ago and had a view of the ocean, so we saw it everyday. It's still "Ku" to us today (and one of my favorite of God's creations; Victoria's is the mountains and its evergreens). I explained to Xiao Qian that if she were to take a boat and head straight out from the beach that she would eventually end up below where we stood and hit the east coast of China, very near where she's originally from. She said, "Noooo, Babi", and I said, "Yeeees, Xiao Qian". We said this back and forth to one another several times. She thought I was "fengla" (crazy) and kidding around. When she realized I was serious and telling her the truth, she said once again, "Ku". And that, too, is indeed cool. We stood there for awhile, walked down along the gradually sloped water line and explored the area while looking for sea shells. We didn't find many because it's a heavily visited beach (we're sure she had this vision in her mind that all beaches are covered with gobs of gorgeous sea shells - the "first" of many fantasies about America and life in general that were shattered in that moment). We then told her we had to return to the apartment, grab something to eat real quick and then come back and spend more time at the beach. She couldn't wait to hurry along to make all of this happen as fast as possible (a theme of life of Xiao Qian).

The pictures below give just a glimpse of how excited Xiao Qian was to play in the ocean (it was freezing cold, mind you). She frolicked, splashed, jumped, smiled, laughed, ran, walked, sauntered, explored and just literally soaked in the ocean. She loved it. A marvelous "first" that did not disappoint.

But sometimes we think we're going to give Xiao Qian a first, only to realize that she's already had that experience. Being occasionally associated with some westerners over the last three years in China (we've blogged about this before) gave her exposure to many western traditions that we thought she would experience with us for the first time. She's familiar with Christmas, the calendar New Year, Halloween and Thanksgiving. One of the things we were excited about this weekend was to share Resurrection Sunday with her for the first time, and also have a nice little Easter-egg hunt. We quickly found out that she'd already enjoyed this tradition while living in China, to such a degree that it made our day and festivities seem benign. So we've been reminded once again that our time together as a family is not about experiences and activities, but rather about belonging and securing. These are "firsts" that cannot be replicated because they run much deeper than a point in time, but rather build and continue into perpetuity for as long as we shall live.

"There's nothing like candy first thing in the morning."

So here's to "firsts", and to many what we thought were going to be "firsts" but were not. And here's to life, its surprises and its disappointments, and its joys and its sorrows. We know and experience the extremes of it all, appreciating both ends of the spectrum from the left to the right and from the right to left. All are good.

My First "Report Card"

Piper's first school status update (report card) came in the mail the other day. She's now been in school for several weeks attending ELD (English Language Development), Mandarin, math, history, English, and PE. Since she's very social, attending class and being around other kids her age seems to be a place of comfort for her. Meeting new people when she cannot fully speak the language is a place of real discomfort for her. And naturally, she does much better in those classes that don't require English skills over those that do. For example, she received high marks in Mandarin (shock and amaze us), PE and math (really well in math). However, she doesn't do quite as well in history and English (grammar) - obviously since she cannot really understand what's being taught without the language skills. Nonetheless, she wants to excel and was disappointed in her status update because she didn't get "Exceeds Expectations" across the board. Of course it probably didn't help when she asked me what "Exceeds Expectations", "Satisfactory" and "Needs Improvement" means, and I translated the words literally for her. I think what she heard me say (although I didn't say it quite like this) was that "Exceeds Expectations" is an "A", "Satisfactory" is a "C", and "Needs Improvement" is an "F". (One has to be very careful how they explain things to older adoptive Chinese children because things are taken literally, but we have the benefit of upbringing and culture on our side to smooth things out.) She received "Satisfactory" remarks in every class, with one "Needs Improvement" in the remaining one. When Victoria and I saw that we were thrilled. When Xiao Qian saw that she was extremely disappointed. (I think we have a high achiever on our hands.) I tried to explain to her that we couldn't be more thrilled with her advancement in two short months, but she wants immediate mastery of all subject matter right now. In fact, she's already talking about wanting to take Spanish classes soon so she can learn yet another language. We gently reminded her that she's yet to get English down for now. Mind you, it wasn't as if she was moaning and groaning about her grades, she took them in stride and still with a smile on her face, but she wants to do better. Here's a quote from her ELD teacher: "I also wanted to let you know how proud Piper seems when she talks about going to her brother’s volleyball games. She seems to be adjusting so well to your family and to life in the U.S. and she has a great attitude at Stanley. We really enjoy having her!"

Speaking of volleyball games, we just returned from another one of Barret's matches. He and the team are doing so well and, yes, Piper really seems to enjoy going and watching him play. It's evident she really loves him.

Well, nothing terribly profound tonight, except that all of life is really quite profound at its core. I just wanted to give this little report on Xiao Qian's "report card". We head off for Avila Beach, California tomorrow for Spring Break and to be close to Annie at Cal Poly, San Luis Obispo. We hear the weather isn't going to be that great, but as we learned while in Guilin, China with Xiao Qian, that's all a matter of perspective. Rain and cold can be just as beautiful as sun and warmth - depends on whether you decide to wear the paradigm of the Creator or the created.

He Is Risen,