Gotcha!

Monday, May 4th, marked the one year anniversary of the day we first met our little Willow-tree on that mezzanine floor of a foreign hotel in Lanzhou, China (this day is typically known in the adoption world as "gotcha-day"). The moment is indelibly etched in our memories, as is the day we first met Qiao Qiao (Poppy) and my wife gave birth to Austin, Annie and Barret. We don't have to hesitate for a moment to state that they're some of the sweetest days of our lives. They're also some of the scariest, and for Victoria with our biological children perhaps some of the most physically painful.

Moments before we saw Xuan Xuan (Willow) for the first time, our hearts and minds were racing with all kinds of emotions and thoughts, ranging from giddy excitement to sheer terror. And for Willow, it was probably only the later. In fact, when that little girl peered around the corner of the hallway adjacent to the foyer while being held in the arms of her caregiver you could see caution and confusion written all over her face. Not a crack of a smile to be had, and just a stern stare into the eyes of Victoria, Barret, Poppy and me was all she could muster up. Tear-filled eyes soaked to the brim and a stiffened, rigid body aptly describe her affect, but she could only remain strong for so long until she just had to burst into crying as a reflection of her true feelings. She quickly gravitated to the one thing that makes her most comfortable in uncomfortable situations, and that was to explore her strange surroundings by toddling anywhere she could get to. An overly excited Poppy ran closely behind her asking loudly, "Can we keep her? Can we keep her?" When exploring wouldn't suffice, Wu Hui Xuan was most quickly attracted to and consoled by her new-found big brother, Barret.

A lot has happened for all of us since that eternally life-changing moment, but more so for Willow than for any other. We had established lives, a home and family we were familiar with and going back to. Willow had nothing but the hot yellow fleece garment she was clothed in; everything else she knew vaporized into only a memory. Today she's a whole new girl with cleft pallet repaired and an affectionate spirit that is 180 degrees counter to what she exhibited one year ago. The transformation is awe inspiring.

We believe in adoption because we believe in the power of love. And we believe in the power of love because we believe in the Source of that power and love. What else could possibly break through the self preserving and cocooning spirits of all of us to turn our lives upside down for the sake of another? What else could take a planned course for our future and force a left hand turn down the road less traveled? What else could generate enough energy to start all over again when it's time to start thinking about winding down? What else could cause hearts that were already brimming with fully satisfied love to decide, "There's still more there to give away"? What else?

There are enough moments of every day that cause all of us to occasionally say to ourselves, "This is crazy." But what's more crazy for us Kruggel's is to live the rest of our lives basking in the crazy love of Jesus only to drift into eternity without spilling its overflow into all of these precious children God's given us. And what's even more crazy is to watch Jesus pour more of Himself out to us as we see His face written all over these little ones. God's turned our world upside down and we just can't stop believing that we've got to be among the most blessed. And why? What did we do? Nothing! This is nothing! God is just being God, and His love through Jesus is unstoppable and overpowering. We can't wait to kneel in front of Jesus and wipe His feet with our tears of joy and say, "I thank You for my 'gotcha-day'".

Smitten by Him,

Tom (& Victoria)