25 Years

Twenty-five years ago today I timidly walked into an opulent high-rise office building in the Emerald City wearing my fresh, newly purchased Nordstrom navy blue pinstriped suit, stiffly starched white shirt, red power tie and black wing-tipped shoes. Broke and in debt from my un-Tom Kruggel-ish apparel purchase, I was both petrified and exuberant at the genesis of my new job with Hines. Completely outside of my element, a relatively recent social services post graduate was entering into the juxtaposed realm of corporate America. Having no idea what I was doing or whether I belonged, I said to myself, "I'll give this six months, and if I don't like it I'm outta here. Besides this couldn't possibly be where God wants me anyway."

Last night, although exhausted I couldn't fall to sleep. I always figure those are moments when the Spirit is particularly active in my heart and I must pause and listen. To what? I don't know, but I usually start talking to myself. Sulking in a moment of "quiet desperation" (Henry David Thoreau) I began to ask, "Is this it?" "Yes, and no", I believe He says. My life-long paradigms of myself are completely shattered. God's awfully good at that and constantly in the business of reframing my sense of purpose. I can't help but wonder if there's more. In a weird sense, I sort of like this tension. I get bored when I'm comfortable.

Actually, I'm quite content knowing that God has sovereign- ly put one foot in front of the other, day by day, week by week, month by month and year by year. He's led me to and sustained me in this place called Hines. If it were not for Jesus, I might believe that this is Nirvana because I'm confident no other place like Hines exists for those desiring best in class real estate experience with some of the finest people that walk the face of the earth. And provisionally, they've cared for me like none other. To this day I still feel overpaid.

But where I'm not content is believing that this is it. There's more, much more, but I don't know what it is. Victoria, Austin, Annie, Barret, Poppy, Willow, and now Meagan are my greatest joys more over and above Hines, but there's still yet more. So, I'm compelled to keep working, to keep pushing, to keep striving and to keep investing with a glimmer of faith and hope that I'm accomplishing something of eternal value even though I don't see it.

I'm taking today as a gift from God, and I'm asking for more, that my heart would be broken by the things that break His. And in that broken estate, I'm asking Him to make me courageous enough, brave enough to do something about it.

At 25 years, I either get a Rolex watch or a paid vacation. I'm taking the vacation with the love of my life, Victoria. Who needs another watch?

Twenty-five years and counting,

Tom