Loving Language

We've learned that language development moves through various phases that are identified by very distinct characteristics. At least that's been our personal experience by observing Piper as she learns to master a new language, English.

At first much of our communication with her was through one or two word syllables, often accompanied by hand motions or pointing to things we were referring to. It's really quite amazing just how much communication actually transpires without any real grasp of the other's language. We seemed to get along pretty well, surprisingly well as a matter of fact during those first few weeks with one another in spite of the reality that we didn't know much of the other's native vocabulary. We still vividly remember those genesis days when we played games with one another, like stick-man, just to help each other break down barriers and develop a bond.

Before long we discovered that we were actually carrying on conversations with one another through simple sentence structures. We might have been speaking the vocabulary of a two or three year old, but that's better than before and much better than nothing. Some of the frustrations during that phase are that you want to convey more, but don't know how because, as Piper would say back then (and still does sometimes), "Too much English", meaning it takes too many complicated English words to let you know what I'm trying to say. We even found ourselves sometimes saying to ourselves, "It's just too difficult."

Then comes the phase where the expanse of vocabulary grows and the use of words now conveys much deeper thoughts. The grammar is terrible, but you figure out pretty quickly what the other is trying to say, even through very thick accents. During this stage we found ourselves (and still do) asking Piper to either speak more slowly or teaching her just how to enunciate a word. Many words are so very difficult because the use of those sounds are not utilized in China. Furthermore, as we recently learned from an Asian-American friend of ours that also speaks Mandarin, Chinese words almost always begin with a consonant and end with a vowel. Few English words end with a vowel, and many actually begin with a vowel. Combine that with definite articles that are usually absent in Mandarin, and you begin to see real quick that the English language isn't as easy as we think it is. We have a lot of sympathy for poor little Piper working so hard to learn our language.

But here's where the big breakthrough begins to happen - it's when the feeling barrier is broken. First of all, communicating about feelings in China is culturally difficult to begin with, so establishing a level of acceptance that it's O. K. to do so is hard to build. But even when a platform of safety is created, using those feeling-words is harder than you might think. We remember asking Piper early on how she felt about things and she would just say, "Wha dat? 'Feel?'" In fact, one time she told Victoria that she was watching a movie that caused water to come out of her eyes, but she couldn't understand why. Victoria explained to her that something was happening in her heart that showed itself in her face and eyes, but Piper just couldn't get it. But now, now we're beginning to talk about feelings which opens up a whole new world of communication and, therefore, bonding and connection. When we say we love each other it's more than just words now, we can feel it from one another. How do we know? Not long ago Victoria left for a trip to spend some time with Annie down south. When she said to good-bye, Piper began to tear up. This was the first time such an emotion was expressed externally as a reflection of what was really happening internally.

And here's the "capper": Piper was awarded in June the highest honors for English Language Development (ELD) at her Middle School. This was given among many students, most of whom had taken or were enrolled in ELD all year long while she was just there for the last three months of the school year. The school administration went out of their way to let us know that these things are not handed out easily, and that she has astonishingly come a long way in a very short period of time.

We're proud of Piper, and are finding more and more that our communication with one another is richer and richer with each passing day. Now she's off to summer school to continue with her English Language Development (something she's not too thrilled to do while most other kids are off). We've got to keep this fast train moving while there's momentum. She's really chugging along so well.

Just think. God could have chosen to create us without language, but instead He did and life seems so much more complete with it. Now we can understand, and He can be understood.

Loving Language,