We're all currently vacationing at Mount Hermon Christian Conference Center, located near Santa Cruz, California (this is where Victoria and I met in 1979). We've been coming here for eighteen years (in a row now). Our first year as family "campers" was when Victoria was pregnant with Barret - that's how we keep track of our tenure here. Of course this is Piper's first year here, and we're naturally missing Austin and Meagan. A special treat for us is that Annie's here with us, at least for the first few days, because she doesn't have to go back for her summer internship in the Bay Area until Wednesday.
While Piper was out exploring the grounds with a new found friend (this place is very safe, and she's a friend "magnet" so it doesn't take long for her to make acquaintances) and the other two little ones were taking a nap, Victoria found ourselves in the unusual position of being alone with both Annie and Barret. As the Lord would have it, our conversation steered toward what it was like before we had six children and it was just the five of us (Austin, Annie and Barret). Being here generates remembrances of summers gone by at Mount Hermon because we have so many experiences here that date back to our infancy as a newly formed family. Swimming, hiking, exploring, boating, laughing, eating ice-cream, studying the Bible, etc... The conversation was nostalgic. Both of them said they missed those days. It was also said out of the same breath that there wasn't a preference for the way it was, nor would (or could we for that matter because change is inevitable) it be desirable to go back.
While listening to the conversation I also had several conversations going on with myself in my own mind and heart. The bottom line is that I felt deeply for our first three children and all of the radical change in family dynamics that's been foisted upon them over the last four years (especially Barret). They've all (including Meagan) been so loving and supportive, but it has cost them something for us to pursue this calling from God. In fact, it's cost them a lot. One of my greatest fears about adopting (and Victoria's too) was that our first three children might feel ostracized and left behind. A lot of outside attention is given to these little bundles of Chinese wonder that have entered our life, and the others stand by and silently (and also openly and honestly) support and give the girls honor directed away from themselves. While this is certainly healthy in so many ways, it also needs to be revered with respect and appreciation. Victoria and I are forever grateful for Austin, Meagan, Annie and Barret and the manner in which they've laid down their lives for the sake of another.
And if we could give anyone one piece of advice that already have children and are pursuing, or thinking about pursuing adoption, we would have to say to them that they should be keenly aware of their already existing lives and hearts of the children God's presently given them. One of many goals we have is to give each of our six (seven) children an appropriate level of love and parenting so that another isn't overly showered or under cared for. This requires sharp attention and radar sensitive antennae. May God help us all.
"... everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or children or fields for my sake will receive a hundred times as much and will inherit eternal life." (Matthew 19:29)
While listening to the conversation I also had several conversations going on with myself in my own mind and heart. The bottom line is that I felt deeply for our first three children and all of the radical change in family dynamics that's been foisted upon them over the last four years (especially Barret). They've all (including Meagan) been so loving and supportive, but it has cost them something for us to pursue this calling from God. In fact, it's cost them a lot. One of my greatest fears about adopting (and Victoria's too) was that our first three children might feel ostracized and left behind. A lot of outside attention is given to these little bundles of Chinese wonder that have entered our life, and the others stand by and silently (and also openly and honestly) support and give the girls honor directed away from themselves. While this is certainly healthy in so many ways, it also needs to be revered with respect and appreciation. Victoria and I are forever grateful for Austin, Meagan, Annie and Barret and the manner in which they've laid down their lives for the sake of another.
And if we could give anyone one piece of advice that already have children and are pursuing, or thinking about pursuing adoption, we would have to say to them that they should be keenly aware of their already existing lives and hearts of the children God's presently given them. One of many goals we have is to give each of our six (seven) children an appropriate level of love and parenting so that another isn't overly showered or under cared for. This requires sharp attention and radar sensitive antennae. May God help us all.
"... everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or children or fields for my sake will receive a hundred times as much and will inherit eternal life." (Matthew 19:29)
Recipients of a Hundred Times as Much,
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