THIS (to the left) was one of the first things our weary eyes laid upon when we pulled up to our home in our jam-packed Honda Pilot, filled with luggage and seven very happy Kruggel's. This, together with all of the tidying little Miss Annie could do to make our home absolutely adorable and welcoming almost brought tears to our eyes. More than our home's appearance, it was the thought that counted (as with all gifts and acts of service) as Victoria and I contemplated the extraordinary amount of effort and care Annie put into making the first entree into our home as a family of seven the most memorable one we might ever imagine. This is our Annie-girl, whom we take no credit for whatsoever and of whom we're so very proud. "WE LOVE YOU ANNIE! No one will ever replace you!." And Austin, you gave us one of the greatest gifts we could have ever asked for; driving up from graduate school during a busy quarter, and being with us and loving on Willow as you did, and will. You're the best! We're so proud of you. And to Barret, our superhero these last three weeks, we have cherished the love and service you've given to us while traversing China for Willow. Your sacrifice has greater, far reaching impact than you will ever really know. And sweet Yao Qiao (Poppy), we couldn't love you more. You're our sweet little pop-tart, whose creative character has blossomed in our eyes in the presence of your Mei Mei, Willow."
So how do I sum up our first 36 hours together as the "Kruggel Six-Pack + 1" (more)? Rather than attempt to journal the events of our time, it's perhaps more apropos to journal the feelings of our time (which can never be fully articulated in written form). Pondering the past, I never dreamed (nor did Victoria) that I'd be the temporary recipient of five blessed beauties to laughingly love and treacherously tear over. I remember thinking when I first thought that Victoria even liked me (long before we contemplated marriage and became engaged) that I was the most fortunate man on the planet that someone as wonderful as her would even give consideration to me. And that was just the beginning of what has now flourished into a "match made in heaven" (cliche, I know, but a rather profound quote from Victoria's grandmother, Vera Mae, at our wedding ceremony which gains more meaning with each passing day knowing all the more the providence and power of the Almighty). We've been married now for over 25 remarkable years and seen the gift of God grow our family to what you see here (as we lay on our bed surrounding a jet-lagged and not-feeling-so-well Willow Rae). So how does all of this feel? It feels like this,... like, why me? I know it's often been asked, "Why do bad things happen to good people?" But, I continue to ask myself, "Why do good things happen to bad people?" God said, "There is none righteous, no not one." (Romans 3:10b) My answer, "I simply do not know why." But for the grace of God go I.
On a very practical level, "How does it feel?" It feels exhilarating, and at the same time terrifying. What an honor to be in a place and position, because of Him, to endear children into our home. This is exhilarating. And at the same time, what a scary thing to be in a place and position, because of Him, to endear children into our home. This is terrifying (especially at our place in life). So, "What do we do?" We keep the big picture at the forefront of our thinking, both in the joyous and in the sorrowful times, remembering that we're here to "give, until there's nothing left" (as my son Barret quoted in a recent blog; the best blog entry I've read thus far, in my personal opinion). All of this for the sake of my love, Jesus, and to bring home as many into His Kingdom as possible.
This morning, I pulled my family aside in the backyard and sat around our patio table, with the sun rising in the east, a cool northwesterly wind, birds singing in the background, and green creation all around us, and said to my three eldest (Austin, Annie and Barret), with Victoria of course (the two little ones were sleeping), "I/we need you. I/we NEED you. Don't let what God has given to drive us from one another, but to guide us to one another." For us, this is family, and this is what it feels like to be right where we are at this moment.
We're happy, yes, but we also realize that we have a very long haul ahead of us. We're "girding our loins", so to state, and ready to cross into the battlefield of sacrificial love and service. This is what God has called us to.
Humbly Basking in the Love of Christ,
Tom
P.S. - We love all of you so much. Thank you for joining our journey to Willow Rae. We're here with her because of you, no doubt. We don't know how we can ever express enough heartfelt and sincere gratitude for you, your support, encouragement and prayers. We will continue to post from time to time, although it may not be on a daily basis going forward.
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