A wonderful Christmas for us Kruggel's (except for missing Austin & Meagan and my Mom & Dad). Lot's of gifts (although thankfully far less than last year), good food (maybe more than last year), and most of all time with family. Perhaps the best gift of all was our time together around the fireplace, after opening all of our gifts and buried in wrapping paper, just talking about the push and pull of living in an affluent country, making our lives count for Jesus and walking a holy life before God. Annie asked, "What's more important and valuable: Living a private life of devotion before God by basking in the warmth of His Word day in and day out, or sacrificially living every second of your life giving it away for the sake of others?" I responded, "You cannot separate the two, they're linked arm in arm." She immediately replied, "I don't like that answer because I don't know how you can have both." (Lest many of you think we're this super-spiritualized family, let me assure you we don't have these kind of conversations often enough.) Here's the dilemma; Annie's in school, so is Barret, pursuing her education. She looks all around her and reads about (sees hundreds of) people her age out in the countryside, sometimes in the hinterlands, sacrificially laying down their lives for Jesus. Which is more valuable? Both Victoria and I know how she feels, and we feel for all young people (and older folks I suppose) wrestling with the quandary of how to practically live their lives for Jesus in the here and now no matter where they find themselves. It always looks more glamorous, more holy out there. But is it? Victoria and I think not. It's hard being a Christian here, being surrounded by so much, knowing that there are so many out there with much less. Yet what are we to do? Loath the fact that we're here and bemoan our existence as Americans? Or, do we recognize the need, do what we can with the meager means we have and accept that God also has great purposes for us where we are? Like going to work day in and day out, living a life of ambassadorship for Jesus there, slowly but surely impacting others with our walk and our talk of forgiveness, grace and mercy. Not all are called to be out there, so we take where we are and make it count in the moment for Jesus believing that the "out there" is right here. We know these are struggles for people like my eldest son and his wife, Austin and Meagan. We know these are struggles for Annie and others like her in college. We know these are struggles for people even like Victoria and me.
All we can do is look at the tapestry of God's perfect design and conclude that His image is made complete not in the one, but in the many. It's sort of like that classic Christmas movie that I love so much, It's A Wonderful Life. The world would be a different place if God had not perfectly orchestrated my existence, the existence of each and every one of us to be who we are and where we are at the moment. The beauty of His handiwork is seen when all of the parts are situated in their perfect jigsaw puzzle place. Without Annie where she is there would be that frustrating missing spot on the puzzle-board, looking so incomplete and barren without it. This world needs Annie, it needs Victoria, it needs my children, it needs you, and it needs me. Where it breaks down most is when I want to be all of the jigsaw pieces; just ain't gonna happen.
Victoria and I agree that our conversation this morning was the best part of our Christmas day this year, 2009. I hope to remember and reflect upon this, praying for Annie, for Barret, for Austin and Meagan, for Victoria and for all us Christians that wrestle with our stations in life. "Thank you, Lord, for such a perfect Christmas gift today. You knew exactly what I, what we needed."
Goodbye Christmas, 2009,
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