"I Want Momma, I Want Momma!"

Just the other night I came home a little late (the Holidays make for some long days). Victoria was out with a friend of hers, while Barret stayed home with the girls. The moment I walked through the garage door I saw and heard our little Pop-Tart weeping her tiny eyes out. These were what we commonly refer to in our home as alligator tears, and they were sincere and from the heart. In her whimpering voice she muddled, "I want Momma, I want Momma!" This is certainly not the first time this has happened, but it's becoming much more frequent these days. Whenever Victoria leaves for even a short period, Poppy becomes overly anxious and sort of loses all sense of bearing (although this is not the case when she's dropped off for Kindergarten, AWANA or Sunday School). My tender heart couldn't help but feel very sorry for her, while her older brother was a bit exasperated by it all (can't say I really blame him; those situations are really hard when you're in the heat of the "battle" and feel so helpless). Willow was sad, but holding it together because she doesn't like it when anyone is upset in the household. She's our family peacemaker and frequently checks in on anyone that isn't exhibiting the cheeriest of dispositions to see if she can't figure it out and turn perceived melancholy moments by 180 degrees.

When I saw Poppy's meltdown that night I immediately started to become anxious about our upcoming travels to China, possibly leaving the girls behind and all. I wondered how she'll ever survive, and more frighteningly, how Austin and Meagan will survive. I'm confident that whatever happened to this little girl while in China and losing her mommy and daddy at about six months of age has left indelible marks of attachment disorder that will take extra doses of patience, love and time to heal, not to mention the grace of God. She's also wired and created in such a way that she's naturally a worrier, thus taking on a common characteristic of most of us Kruggel's, even though she doesn't possess our genes. Willow's nothing like this now, and I hope she doesn't begin to imbibe what Victoria and I dislike most about our own constitutions.

In chatting with Victoria (and Annie, Brian - Annie's boy- friend, and Barret) last night around the dinner table, Victoria said that she shared this latest incident with Poppy with a friend of hers and expressed our angst about leaving Poppy behind. Her retort to Victoria was that if we reverse direction now we may be shunning the Lord's provision and miraculous grace to provide Austin and Meagan when we were running out of time and options to finalize our travel plans. That thought had never dawned on me, and I was immediately grateful for her perspective. I believe she's right. God, at just the right moment and with just the right people, provided what appears to be the perfect solution to our traveling decisions, and also that He can intervene and supply Poppy, Austin, Meagan (and even Willow) with just the right amounts of grace, peace, love and fortitude to press through our absence with joy and great reward.

I share this with you so that you may continue, if you're so inclined, to pray for us, and especially Poppy, Austin and Meagan (Willow too) as we work through and prepare for our departure. This is the kind of dependence I long for because it forces us into the bosom of Jesus, but when it comes I sometimes start to lose faith.

Our Travel Approval (TA) from China should be coming within the next week or two. Until then, we continue to prepare mentally, emotionally and spiritually for this significant life change, and also rest in this time with our family (Annie's home now from Cal Poly, San Luis Obispo) during the Christmas celebration break.

Praying for Our Sweet Little Pop-Tart,

Tom (& Victoria)