It seems like all cultures elevate and deflate certain age groups depending upon what's perceived to be of greater value. In China, by way of generalized example, the elderly are revered and honored over and above the young. They've achieved a status in life that mandates respect and care. In our country, just the opposite seems to be the case, so much so that we may be rightfully accused of worshipping the young. This is especially the case with the very young given our propensity to "spoil-them-to-death", and also with the young adulthood stage of life given our longing to stay forever youthful and beautiful. There's one age in particular, however, between childhood and young adulthood that I fear our culture abhors and loathes, and that's teenager-hood. Victoria and I have most recently seen this played out in our own lives when we let people in on our upcoming adoption of a thirteen (13) year old. Yikes, a teenager! Aside from the typical and understandable concerns about language and cultural barriers, the greater concern seems to be the fact that she's a teen. "Wow, you're brave to take that on again!" Or, "Whew, what a challenge that will be to deal with all of the struggles of raising a teen!" And it's not just Xiao Qian we've heard this about, but also with all of our other older children. It's almost as if parents can't wait to get their kids out of the house once they turn 13. "Let's just fast-forward the next four to five years, please!" Want to know what I abhor and loath? That whole mentality in our culture about teenagers. In fact, Victoria and I reject these notions and embrace just the opposite.
When Austin was a teenager, and Annie also at the same time, people would make comments about how hard life must be at this stage. I would look at them and just shake my head in disbelief, but also in honest confusion. I didn't understand. We were, and have, enjoyed the teenage years of life with our children as much, if not often times more than when they were younger. Why? Because their ability to reason with logic is sophisticated and we can relate to them on that level. Because their passions for Jesus begin to reveal themselves in unique and tangible ways (or so we hope), other than just echoing what we've taught them. Because they're able to care for themselves in ways that prepare them for adulthood. Because the fruits of your earlier years of labor begin to show up in their character. (Sometimes, what we see is actually quite convicting, and in our case has now allowed us to go back and do some things differently with Poppy and Willow, and now Xiao Qian).
I believe there's a real vacuum in our culture when it comes to caring for teenagers. We push them off to the schools and others expecting them to shape and mold their lives from here on out because we think it's all over anyway and, "What's the use?" "What's done is done!" I once read and heard that a greater majority of lives commit themselves to Jesus in teenager-hood than at any other age of life. Now what does that say about this stage of living? Hearts are malleable, tender, open, and ready to receive the greatest gift life has to offer. From what I can see, it's all downhill after the teenage years. I see it in my own life, and I'm a Christian. My heart isn't as ready, willing and able to receive truth like it was when I was a teenager. I want to have the faith of a child, and I want to have the passion and the energy for Jesus like a teenager. These kids are teaching me a thing or two, and they don't even realize it.
We're entering Xiao Qian's life, and she's entering ours, at the most opportune time, perfectly orchestrated by our Lord. Aside from all of the significant cultural transitions she'll have to go through (and we do not underestimate them by any stretch of the imagination), her heart (we pray) will be vulnerable to the Spirit and our leading by Him. We have a very short window of time, but probably the best window of time, to allow God to influence her life for eternity. These teenage years with Xiao Qian? Bring em' on!!! And shame on us for ever thinking otherwise.
Restoring the Teenage Years,
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