All Aboard!

So, how am I (are we) doing with the adoption finally drawing so near and just about to become a reality? Victoria described it to me well the other evening when she said, "One year ago when we first embarked upon this process and decision, I could see the train in the distance and knew it was coming my way, not giving too intense of thought to it. Now I see it so much more clearly because that blinding light is staring me right in the face and the train is about stop at my station." And once we board that train, there's no getting off (thankfully). So there's a lot of emotions running through my soul right about now (I cannot address Victoria's with nearly as much clarity, of course). Life as I (we) once knew it is about to change forever, yet again.

Our house is about to become much smaller. The girl's room is about to become much more crowded. The bathrooms are about to be used a lot more frequently, with perhaps waiting times between. Clutter is about increase. Driving to and fro is about to escalate. Household expenses are about multiply. Our cuisine is about to be altered. Confusion and chaos are about to ensue.

And the family dynamics and culture? Why it's also about to change, radically. There will be less time for leisure with one another. We'll be trying to figure out where each one fits into the new family mold. How does Barret connect with Xiao Qian? How does Xiao Qian connect with the girls? Will Xiao Qian view us as MaMa and BaBa right away, or will that take awhile, or will that happen at all? What about Austin? What about Meagan? What about Annie? Where do they fit into the new family structure? They're part of the family, but not living in the house. Emotions will undoubtedly rise, tensions will build, patience will be tried, and we're going to be tired. Everything will be catawampus, at least for awhile.

Get the picture? I'm scared. Thinking about all of this throws me into a tailspin. But wait a minute! (This is where I catch myself.) It's not bad, it's good, because... now we're needy, now we're dependent, now we're sacrificing, now we're serving, now we're forced into the bosom of Jesus because we have no where else to turn. And for what cause, for what sake? For His sake! Xiao Qian bears the face of Jesus. Austin & Meagan bear the face of Jesus. So does Annie, so does Barret, and so do Poppy and Willow. And so do Victoria and I for that matter. This is not earthly work; no, it's heavenly work, eternal work, Kingdom work, and joyful work. It's this thinking that forces my tailspin into a recovery and my vertigo vanishes. And this is not human thinking, it's supernaturally driven. From a natural perspective, this is foolishness, but from the Savior's perspective, this is divine. Bottom Line: This is love! And for what higher calling can I, can we Kruggel's live? None! Absolutely none! Suddenly, I'm not scared anymore. No, I'm humbled, I'm sobered, I'm privileged, and I'm excited. Now, yes now, we're forced to walk by faith, and not by sight. (cf. II Corinthians 5:7)

So, on that note, nothing's going to derail this train. And when it stops @ 15 Hartwood Court, I'm not going to walk onto that train. No, Jesus is going to carry me across the threshold and onto it. And though weary and heavy laden, there on the train bound to "Who knows where?", I will find rest for my soul.

I hear the whistle blowing and the Conductor calling out for the last time, "All Aboard!"