Sobered by Love

I could fill you in with all of the too-numerous-to-count details of today's experiences which include a perfect day of weather in Guilin (tropical almost), an absolutely lovely stroll around the lake, a little shopping here and there, eating, eating and more eating (Did I mention eating? I don't think I've ever been hungry in China, and when you think you're full, you always find room for just a little more), a visit to the zoo, a visit to the local park, flying back to Guangzhou,... oh, and more eating, but... we will spare you all of those details. Suffice it to state we had a very fulfilling day.

But rather than focus on those events, I'd rather spend the time writing about something much deeper, much more profound than an event, which actually filled more than our  stomachs. When I woke up this morning I knew it would be our last day with our good friends from China. Feeling rather sentimental about it all (my friends leaving combined with the tornado of emotions surrounding the adoption of Xiao Qian into our family), I prayed that God would open up an opportunity at breakfast to allow Victoria and me to express to Xiao Qian just how we were feeling about everything involving her. I wanted it to come through as pure a translation as possible from dear friends (who we would call "family") who know and love us. After eating a traditional Chinese breakfast (yes, eating again), I asked these folks if they'd do us a huge favor. They unhesitatingly answered, "Of course, anything." And here's (paraphrased) what I said to them, "Please tell Xiao Qian, from someone who knows and loves us, someone who we consider to be family, how much we are trying to understand just how difficult this transition must be for her. She's obviously demonstrating to us that she's a very brave girl, and for that we're proud of her. But the fact that we do not speak her language, and the fact that she's going to have to eat food that is a far cry from what her native Chinese taste buds enjoy, and the fact that she's leaving all she's ever known for her entire life, and the fact that she's going to have to open herself up to people who are complete strangers to her, and the fact that she's going  to have to try to fit into a new school without a friend in sight, and the fact that there are just so many other things that will change for her, most of which we have never even thought about, are things that we're very sensitive to and will be there for her to work through. Please tell her that sometimes in order to find a family and receive love, you have to go through hardship. And while she may not see it now, she will one day and hopefully look back on it with thankfulness. And finally, please tell her that even though we don't know her as well as we'd like or one day will, nor does she us, that we love her and will always, yes always be there for her." I think it went something like that. Toward the tail end of that diatribe, I found my lips starting to quiver and holding back a flood of emotional tears that were no doubt a build-up of over a year of contemplative preparation and prayer. I also noticed some pretty heavy eyes on the other side of the table, in my friends that is (Xiao Qian was to my immediate right), and they were finding it difficult to control their emotions as well. Then the translation came from our good friend Shuyu Huang, and it was long. I don't know if he was embellishing what I was saying or if the Mandarin version of my request required that many more syllables. Xiao Qian was intently focused on his every word, making direct eye-contact without ever gazing away. Huang's words were soft spoken and tender (uncharacteristic of traditional Chinese conversation, at least based upon my observations). Then our friend Madam Cui did likewise behind a set of watery eyes, only later I found out that she told Xiao Qian a story about her first year-long work visit to the United States and how difficult that was on her, but how she persevered - and if asked to do it all over again, she would without hesitation. Again, Xiao Qian was riveted, at least by outward appearances. I was having a hard time holding it together, as was Victoria, just trying to imagine what these dear loved ones were trying to communicate to her with such love, care and compassion. After they were finished, I said to all three of them, "Thank you so much for being our friends. We don't know why you love us so much. (Now I'm blubbering.) We don't deserve your friendship. You've always been so kind to us. You've always been and always shall be like family to us. You are our family in China. We cannot thank you enough." And now..., everyone is crying, except Xiao Qian. I then leaned over to Xiao Qian, took her face in my hands, pressed my lips into her ears and said, "Wo ai ni." (I love you.) Victoria also said a few words behinds tears of love, and then we had some long moments of silence, but they were peaceful and comfortable.

We cannot begin to imagine what Xiao Qian was thinking about all of this. Her body language was closed off a bit, but it simply had to be powerful. It wasn't planned to go quite like that, but God had a different idea (as He almost always does). I was so happy that we could give Xiao Qian this gift today, regardless of whether she viewed it as such. I must believe she'll remember it for the rest of her life (we certainly will). After the silence had subsided for awhile, our other good friend, Shan, said, "See, it doesn't matter what language comes out of your mouth. We share a common language - it's called feelings, it's called love." She's right, love crosses all geographic, ethnic and cultural boundaries, and it's recognized and comprehended by all when it comes from the heart. If we never said a word this morning, what was communicated through our love would require more room than a large library could hold of books about it. Now, today, was one of my best days, and I believe the bedrock foundation for a life of family was set in stone that will require more than a legion to destroy. Today we begin to erect in the power of love, love that comes from God, love that simply cannot be explained.

It was this afternoon at that zoo that I heard the familiar words in China, "BaBa, BaBa", come from the mouth of a child where hundreds roamed. Only this voice sounded familiar, like a mother recognizing the cry of her baby after only a few seconds from giving birth - this voice had a lower tone to it, and this voice was the voice of our Xiao Qian. She leaned next to me and enthusiastically pointed to the Panda Bear, the first one she had ever seen in her life. Those are the words I've wanted to hear, and those similar words of Dad, Daddy, Papa or whatever from my other children are the sweetest words any man who is a father could ever hear. And thus are some of the sweetest words my Father wants to hear, but those only first came after I knew I had a Father and after I heard Him say similar things to me (like we said to Xiao Qian).  I first heard His voice over thirty-five years ago, although He had spoken to me long before there ever was.

Sobered by love,