A Straightforward Update

A few have recently asked us for just some basics, you know, a simple update on some of the practical things that are happening in our lives now that Xiao Qian has been with us here at our home for about a week. So here we go (these questions came from a fellow adoptive friend in Texas):

• How are the little girls doing? - You know, the girls (Poppy & Willow) are doing remarkably well. No doubt this is a huge adjustment for them, more that we could ever really know since they're really not able to convey what's going on inside of them at their age. We've seen a little more acting out from them, mostly pouting from Willow (which is a real "no-no" [bu-hao] in our household), but we've showered them with a lot of grace knowing that this is probably tougher on them then they're even exhibiting. There's no doubt they love having an older sister that can sort of get goofy with them at their level. But also, knowing these girls as well as we do, they're definitely processing a lot and trying to absorb this "new normal" into their lives. One sweet anecdotal visual for you: The other evening all three girls were sleeping in their room (they all start off sleeping together in the same room with Poppy and Willow on the trundle and Xiao Qian in the lower bunk) and they were being so rambunctious together - laughing, giggling, bouncing around, etc... It was well after 10:00 p.m. and I must have gone in there three or four times to settle them down. Each time they would all just look at me with a big grin on their face, sort of saying behind their breath, "I'll be good, I'll be good." I just couldn't get upset with them, not for real. They're so cute together.

• How is Piper's English coming along? Again, remarkably well. We're amazed at her English skills. I would equate them to a level four or five year old in America, but as I've said to so many, I'd rather have that than nothing at all. So on a communication level, all three of our children from China are at basically the same scale, with Poppy perhaps leading the pack at this time. We're confident Piper will move at lightning speed and pick up English rapidly. We've already seen huge strides in such a short period of time. We think a lot of those English words were buried down inside of her from her Chinese education (which, by the way, we just found out only started when she was nine and half years old - she never went to school before then, so she has a lot of catching up to do). Don't forget, that Xiao Qian is already bilingual with Mandarin and Cantonese.

• What does Piper think of her new home? This is an excellent question. Bottom line - we don't really know for sure, but from every outward appearance she seems to love it. It's so foreign to her, especially now that we've actually seen where she used to live in China with her caregiver. We've had a lot of people ask us if she's happy to be in America. Really, I don't think she cares where she is, as long as she has a family. And as we've come to learn, almost all of these orphans just want a family - a mother and a father.

• Has Piper shed any tears yet or is she soaking it in as happily as it appears from the photos? Another excellent question. One thing's for sure - we've never seen her shed any tears or anything close to it (except when she said "goodbye" to her very close friends from China). We've even asked her how she feels, and she doesn't know how to translate the English word "feels" into her Chinese vocabulary. She's even replied, "I doh know this 'feeling'." We've made motions with our hands across our faces as if tears were coming down to signal if this might be how she feels from time to time, and she always just smiles and says, "It's O. K." This girl is just genuinely happy, almost all of the time. We've seen her energy level swing from highs to lows, but that doesn't really seem to impact her affect.

• What does Barret think of going from the youngest to the eldest over three younger sisters? One of the most beautiful aspects of this adoption is watching our son, Barret, fall in love with his new found sister. I don't think the order or chronology of where he fits into the family tree really matters much to him, although I do think there's some satisfaction feeling like he's a big brother to three younger sisters. The night before we left for China to pick up Xiao Qian, Barret came into the study room where Victoria and I were and asked, "Sooo, is this adoption really going to happen?" Meaning, "Are you guys really going through with this?" We realized at that moment it was then that his light bulb lit on this thing and it was becoming a reality. And now that we're home, the reality has become blissful, and he's just tenderly embraced her as blood kin, loving her in demonstrative ways that just bring joy to Victoria and me. We're proud of him, love him, and are so grateful for his bonds with this family.

• Are we still suffering from jet-lag? Yes, one week later I think we're finally back on this time zone, although we did have our dangerous moments (one of which I blogged about when I practically fell asleep at the wheel after not sleeping for well over two days - thank God for CalTrans and those little bumps between freeway lanes that awoke me just in the nick of time). Xiao Qian is also acclimated to our time zone and adjusting to all of that just fine.

So that's it for now. I know there are a gazillion more questions, which we're more than happy to post about if anyone has them. But for now perhaps this post will give some practical, straightforward facts about some of the more regular and routine aspects of life that I don't often write about.

We thank you for continuing to follow our journey even though we're no longer on the other side of the world (in some respects we still are, from an adjustment perspective, and suspect we'll be "foreigners" for quite a bit longer).

We love you,