Overwhelmed by Grace

Dear loved ones,

There are moments in some people's lives, but not all I'm quite certain, when you're simply overwhelmed by grace. You know, that sense deep down that I just don't deserve this, that there's just too much goodness around me to not only absorb, but also to appreciate?  This thought jumped out at me once again this evening as the three of us were leaving the hotel lobby to go grab a bite to eat when we ran into a fellow adoptive couple from Detroit, Michigan.  Turns out the father is a fellow Starbuck's lover like me, and we usually end up (by no accident I'm sure) buying ourselves and our wives their first brew of the day.  (It also turns out, mind you, that I believe this Starbuck's coffee is actually better than most I drink in the U.S. – I might have written about that before.)  They unconditionally loved and brought in a practically deaf little Chinese boy, almost two and half, as a permanent member of their family. We've also run into them a few times around the hotel breakfast buffet. While standing in the lobby we started chatting about our experiences, and the mother finally looked at us toward the conclusion of our conversation, cocked her head and asked us with a genuine tone (referring to Xiao Qian), "How'd you get to be so lucky?"

Luck and happenstances don't just happen. There's what's known as good luck and bad luck, good circumstances and bad circumstances, lemons and lemonade… I think you know what I'm referring to. Regardless of which side of the scale we find ourselves on, the providences of life are ordained and set in motion by something much more powerful than coincidence. And the direction that sovereign power decides to blow is not for me to determine, but to receive as good and acceptable regardless of how difficult it might be. Maybe I would feel differently about this if I had more hardship in my life as Victoria and I have always felt that the scales are more heavily weighted in the "life of ease" side of things.  For now, Xiao Qian also falls into that category.  (Don't get me wrong, we've had our struggles and our sorrows, but they pale in comparison to most. And we will have our struggles with Xiao Qian, we're quite sure of it.)  Austin, Meagan, Annie, Barret, Poppy and Willow also fall into that category.  We were reminded of that today when we finally made telephone contact with them and spoke to them all (including Poppy who usually doesn't want to chat when we're out of town because it makes her too sad).  Their sweet voices, the hard work, the remarkable and sacrificial job Meagan and Austin are doing with the family while we're out, the loving tone of Barret's expressed desire to meet his new sister, the deep love Annie has for all of her family - they all just load us down with grace.  It hit us this evening as we sat around the desk getting ready to go to bed while Xiao Qian was in the bathroom – we're buried in grace.  We don't deserve it.  Good things are happening to not-so-good people, not really if you knew and saw the real depth of our hearts. Tonight we put our heads on our pillows and are just stunned by grace. 

We sort of needed this day to partially absorb all of this. It was a little less hectic, a little less organized, and a little less structured than the previous ones up to now. Both Xiao Qian and I are suffering from little nuisance colds (no doubt the result of our defense mechanisms breaking down with so much emotional build-up over the last week), so we sat around, went for walks, leisurely ventured into town and bought some things for her that you cannot find back home, played cards and hang-man (a great game to help learn simple English words), ate (yes, even more), laughed, snuggled and messed around on the computer. This slower day is just the day we needed – to reflect, absorb as best we can, give thanks, and bask in grace.

May grace abound all the more, for all of us, and may we see His grace in the in the good and the bad, and the lemons and the lemonade (which Xiao Qian tried today and didn't like it – "Too sour." Yes, sometimes even grace can be sour, but it was sweet today.)

Overwhelmed by grace,